Faces

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Faces|secaF

~

the eyes seem wise
but the eyes are sad
the eyes are tired

yet the eyes are so familiar

the nose
the mouth
the chin

staring back
the one I think I am
want to be

but a longer look
deeper into the eyes
beneath the transparent surface
reflected subtle in the silver
there is another
one only I recognize

there
caught in the looking glass
revealed
is my other self
inner self
the one I truly am

the weak flawed one
frightened and unsure

the pretender
hoping that my guise holds fast
that I’m not found out
exposed in my glaring imperfection

a shudder breaks the stare

I blink
and check my teeth
my hair
tug straight my collar
making sure the mask is tight

best face forward
always

a final glance
I smile away the doubt

~ ~ ~

rob kistner © 2012
revised © 2019

 

This is the brilliant Bill Frisell, guitarist & cosmic seer.

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    Faces to Ponder

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  • 42 thoughts on “Faces”

    1. Rob,
      Boy, that inner critic can’t hide from it’s owner. On the other hand the owner can and does hide the inner critic.
      Good poetry.
      rel

    2. In this world it’s so difficult to let one’s defenses down. So many people can take advantage of those weaknesses, or we believe they will based on past experiences. This is a great poem about those struggles we go thru, when we are aware of the dichotomy.

    3. I have always been fascinated with the idea of a mirror reflecting our “image” — and the frightening idea that a photograph actually really does look like us at the very moment of time — albeit from a particular angle — but it is us.
      Great post!

      1. Thank you Lillian! Next time you look in the mirror, take a moment to get quiet, relaxed, clear your thoughts. Then gaze directly into your own eyes for an extended time. It is a very unique, and quite often, a most revealing experience.

    4. We do so often have those masks… sometimes I even believe in what I see in the mirror… but when it starts to rip… you can always try to mend it .

      1. Probably, the person we find the most difficult, in all the world, to be honest with — is ourself. We wear our masks well Björn. I might argue that some may be necessary for our own peace of mind – even our own sanity.

    5. I love the thought processes you go through here. I know that masks can serve for roles, and at some point the masks can become who we are if we aren’t careful. I also can relate to that “weak flawed one
      frightened and unsure”. I just had an epiphany after reading the last line of your poem. The mask is not only to “hide” that weak flawed frightened unsure one from others, it is to give US relief from that part of ourselves. Thank you for leading me to that epiphany.
      Sincerely,
      Lisa (aka Li)

      1. Glad you liked this Lisa – and you are welcome. You have had a realization of the face we call the “brave face” — essential for our emotional health. The nect times you are crying, gaze into a mirror and force yourself to smile at yourself for a bit of time. It will shift your feelings. Strange, but it works, provided you hold the smile beyond just a glance.

    6. A nice chestnut from 2012. There is a Chinese film called KING OF MASKS that you put me in mind of. You and I explored, as performers, many more masks than most conjure or encounter. Mirrors and masks, the stuff of philosophy, mystery, introspection, and parallel truths.

      1. I will have the find that film Glenn. I know I wear masks, and most of them for reasons I consider valid. But I am certain I am able to rationalize those that may be more marginal in nature, especially if I need to be “right” about something.

    7. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, you are your own worst critic. That begs the question, how do you know which face you really are? you may not be the weak flawed one after all. Something to think about… Great poem!

      1. In my piece here, I say “smile away the doubt” because we are more faces than just one, necessary for situational sanity Crystal. We need not judge ourselves unnecessarily too harshly. Human beings are complex. Whether we be strong in the moment or unsure in the moment – it’s most i,portant to be honest as possible with ourselves. Not easy to do!

      1. Thank you Dwight. I think insecurity is an inherent aspect of the human condition. Even as an infant we all literally cry for nourishment, physical and emotional. As we grow into more awareness as a person, we come to fully realize, we are alone – and alone is unsettling. We seek the comfort of others, and that includes the acceptance by others. We want to belong. We want our presence, our validity, to be acknowledged. So we are either fortunate to be nurtured by others, and our insecurity diminished – or ignored, shunned, even attacked, physically or mentally by others, making our insecurity magnified. This is how I see it Dwight.

      1. Thank you Jim. I certainly have called myself on my shit more than once, while taking stock of what I see in my eyes refected in the mirror. Sobering when you are able to gaze honestly. That is the key word — honestly.

      1. I believe we all need to conceal some of our reality Nan, so as to protect the privacy of oneself and love ones – so I don’t think your face forward needs be perfect, as long as it is not devious and manipulative.

    8. The reflective glass will always keep us searching for our “true” inner self, the one nearest to our heart. There is vulnerability is revealing too much of oneself.

    9. Sometimes the mirror does seem to reflect differently–not what we remember, or hope, or who we really are underneath. Mostly these days the image is someone much older than I imagine myself to be…(sometimes I see my mother)

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