(version 1)
•
of noisy
newborn stars
exploding
with sizzle
and fire
in a plethora
of vivid color
a flash dance
of vibrant sparks
showering our dewy
midnight lawn
this cacophony
of celebration
and pyrotechnical
wonders
passes in
then out of existence
in but a moment
this magical night
•
of noisy
newborn stars
explodes
with sizzle and fire
a spectacle bizarre
a flash dance
of dazzling sparks
shower the heavens
in wondrous light
this cacophony
of celebration
and pyrotechnical
delight
passes in
then out of existence
in but a thrilling moment
this magical night
•
of newborn stars
explodes above us
bold and bright
they swoosh and sizzle
spin and tumble
in mesmerizing
fiery flight
a flash dance
of dazzling sparks
shower the heavens
in wondrous light
this cacophony
of celebration
this pyrotechnical
delight
passes in
then out of existence
in but a moment
this magical night
• • •
rob kistner © 2010
• photo of aerial fireworks by: Astro Spectacular
wonderful. amazing as always. really, really enjoyed. have missed your magpies recently as my computer had been kaput for a month! 🙂 BRAVO!
Thank you Lisa…
…rob
I am going to a 4th of July party pre-fireworks AND I plan on reading your really nice poem … hope that’s OK, I will give you all the credit!
Yes Helen, I would be honored by your reading this little piece at your party…
…rob
Hi Rob, I think No2 was better for me, but I really liked the third stanza of 1 because it personalized the poem. Have a great 4th, but as your mother would say, ‘be careful!’
Thank you Stafford. I always write several initial drafts of a piece, usually deciding on one of the early ones to post – knowing I will edit and rewrite the piece continually into the future. No work is ever finished for me. I opted to post these initial three drafts because I found each variation interesting…
…rob
The first stanza really spoke to me, ‘a tiny universe
of noisy
newborn stars.’ brilliant! The imagery is fab. Great magpie!
Thank you Patience, I am pleased you found this initial work engaging…
…rob
I like the way they compare and contrast, just like watching the display.
Happy 4th of July!
Thank you Stan, and a Happy Yankee Uprising Day to you my friend… 😉
Thank you for this celebration of words and images. They sparkle and dance like the fireworks they define. Happy Freedom,
ELizabeth
My pleasure, and happy to you too Elizabeth…
…rob
splendid magpie!
Thank you DS…
…rob
Lovely, all three!
Thank you Willow…
…rob
Lovely post – Wonderful Title….bkm
Thank you Barbara…
…rob
Happy 4th! Loved all versions!
Happy back, and thank you Kathe…
…rob
Wonderful images that certainly do explode on the brainpan as you read. Well played.
Thank you Thom…
…rob
I liked version 1 the best. It is personal, marvelling. But I like the image of the public display, too. Wow!
Thank you T! As I allow these three pieces to mellow and age, I think I’m being drawn to version 1 as well…
…rob
Somehow the different versions give us an opportunity to re-experience the fireworks’ dazzle and dance! Like re-living a moment! My favourite is the first one – maybe because this is the first experience with the moment! It is fresh and new and exciting! The others are like a taste of that first moment!
I like your perspective here Gemma. As I wrote in a prior comment, I tend to lean to the 1st on, to some degree because I like free verse…
…rob
Excellent. I really like the progression through the versions.
Thank you Patti…
…rob
Dear Rob: Magnificent poems. My favorite is #3. I love this line;
“of vibrant sparks
showering our dewy
midnight lawn”
Always the sensual element/essence of your poems creates the Art of The Poem making one want to return time and again. There is a wonderful heart-felt Beauty to your poems. The poems are so wonderful when read aloud. Excellence defined in your masterfully creative and most comforting poems.
Thank-you!
Thank you so much Jane, you are most kind…
…rob