This is the post for my Poetry Thursday’s May 10th prompts: azure and erode.
Lost in Azure
•
Across the way, last night’s rain puddles
amidst the chaos of construction. Trapped on-site,
as if abandoned by the waters of earth,
it erodes its way to the culvert,
in search of mother sea.
This day begins dewy and crisp.
Bird songs echo empty sunrise streets.
Lover and beloved,
we sit by the morning window
with tea and curiosity.
We talk.
For this moment,
our souls spill, one into the other,
until I am distracted.
Your lips continue sculpting words,
but I’ve fallen into your deep eyes.
…
Rob Kistner © 2007
I enjoyed this – those distracting azure eyes!
Thank you Juliet! I love the color azure, especially if its gazing at me.
Beautiful – just beautiful.
Thank you Blondie.
This one was fun to write. My wife and I were sitting at a local tea & coffee shop called Acme Brews, chatting while we looked out the window — and this poem started rising in my mind as I gazed into Kathy’s eyes. It was an unusual, though very pleasant experience.
Hi Rob,
thanks for dropping by to my site.
I really like this, the imagery is incredibly evocative. I really like the line: ‘your lips continue sculpting words’.
This draws the rest of us with you and there we all are, lost in azure.
Thank you Verilion / Pauline!
I do so appreciate you kind words.
I enjoyed visiting your site Verilion.
I hope you both will visit me again.
rain puddles (as a verb) is a nice surprise that sets up the tone of the poem- day being a subject of the verse instead of the poet’s observation. . . nice.
Nothing like drowning in a great set of eyes, is there, Rob? For me, it’s free-falling into brown.
Interesting line break on ‘puddles’ too, I might add – it caught me on first read, thinking it was a noun…
I like the opening image of the construction scene a lot, and the journey from that water to tea and the lover’s eyes. I can’t help confessing, though, that “azure” is a stumbling block for me – I’d personally prefer “blue.” However, the prompt seems to have worked really well for you, so what do I know? 🙂
Hi Rob,
Love under construction. Very neat concept.
Rose
xo
I love the spilling souls image and the tea and curiosity.
I am so sorry I have not been to your site yet. I could not find it. I am such an idiot for not clicking on the website link on your profile. I loved the way you wrote in this poem. The way your page is set up is wonderful. I read your poem aloud, a first for me, before I had even read it to myself and apparently I can’t pronounce “azure.” I swear I have heard it and I definitely know what it means but I am still being yelled at about it. Anyways, thanks for your visits and I really know the feeling of being lost in someone’s eyes, although my someone has hazel eyes.
Oh! I really love this one! “Our souls spill, one into the other” conjures up images of true love in my mind. Beautiful poem!
“with tea and curiosity” is just one of the many lines I liked
As an overall effect, I liked this very much. Rob.
Do read my sonnet along with the terzanelle.
Absolutely beautiful! I especially like the phrase about falling into the azure eyes. Great job!
Ren –
Thank you for the compliment. It is especially appreciated coming from you.
“Puddles” as a verb gives life and animation to the water.
Being an “alive entity”, the water’s instinctive search and need for its “natural place” in the world, I feel, draws a stronger parallel to the lover instinctively seeking a natural place in the beloved’s eyes (to be interpreted as soul also).
The lover is naturally drawn in as the water is naturally drawn to the sea.
I felt the poem worked better with the “day” being the subject. It allows you to enjoy the day in an active way, as is the lover looking out the window. Also, this way, the imagery leads you unsuspectingly to the couple rather than it being an observation beginning with the lover.
In a cinematic perspective, it would be a rising continual rising shot, starting from a closeup of the water puddling on the construction site, up and a pull-back wide-angle fly-over of the street, eventually picking out the window, then a sail-down to the outside of the window looking at the couple, then slowly through the window until the scene becomes intimately engaged with the couple in conversation. Then ever so slowly we move into the beloved’s eyes.
Well, that’s part of what was going on inside my head while is was writing this piece.
Scotty –
A little poetic license. I wanted the line break there to emphasize the essence of “puddles” as a verb.
Thanks for visiting, please come back.
Dave –
Thank you, I’m pleased you enjoyed the journey!
Just think of azure as a richer shade of blue. 😉
Rose –
Glad you liked it. It was a joy to write this one.
Colorful –
I appreciate your kind words.
My muse gave me the “tea and curiosity” phrase as the gift that began the entire poem.
The rest I had to work for. 🙂
Clockworkchris –
So glad you finally found your way here. Welcome! 🙂
I appreciate your enthusiasm regarding “Lost in Azure” — I am flattered.
The dictionary offers a few definitions of the word azure. I like this one regarding azure as a noun: “the blue of a clear, unclouded sky.”
That is the color of beloved’s eyes in my poem.
Beth –
Thank you very much!
This is most definitely a poem of deep love.
I’m genuinely glad you enjoyed it.
Gautami –
Your words please me, thank you.
As I wrote to colorful prose above, “tea and curiosity” was the gift from my muse as I considered a place to begin. It came very quickly and immediately sang to my soul.
I will go to your site as soon as I complete these responses to those who visited Image & Verse. 🙂
Paris –
Thank you Tara for your very kind words!
Also, thank you for visiting,
Oh my. How I wish I had asure eyes! What an evocative and touching love poem. Thank you for sharing.
– Chel
Chel –
Thank you for your gracious compliment!
To the ones who love us, our eyes are exactly the color they should be, so celebrate yours! 😉
Hi Rob,
So many beautiful images — puddles, mother sea, sunrise streets, morning window, deep azure eyes — just to name a few. And it’s neat how even among the chaos of construction, there are sweet moments of nature and love!
Clare –
It makes me glad that you enjoyed the images. I wanted this to be a poem of images and love. Thank you for being gracious, and thank you for visiting. Please stop back.
This is a lovely poem – I’ve always been fond of the word “azure” (and of the colour it describes). I’m really enjoying the discovery of how many different poems can be prompted by the same words.
Catherine –
Thank you for your kind words!
Isn’t it just amazing, the wonder of the human spirit and imagination. This is a fine celebration of words.
“Your lips continue sculpting words” was a very romantic and visual line. Love moments like these.
Thank you Tammy! You complimented the phase that I battled with most. I am pleased you enjoyed my final choice.
Followed your link from Poetry thursday. Enjoyed this gently romantic poem.
best,
ljc
Thank you Lisa! it was a pleasure to write.
This poem was enjoyable to read. You used the 2 words to great effect. I especially like the last 2 lines.
‘Your lips continue sculpting words,
but I’ve fallen into your deep azure eyes.’
I’m obviously going to have to learn how to write romantic poetry from your work. :p Well written!
Beaman –
I sincerely appreciate your compliments.
One’s ability to write romantic poetry is directly proportionate to the current passion of one’s lover. I am a very fortunate old man at this time!
You will know when I’m going through a rough patch — I begin writing more blues.
I just wanted to say that the thought of “falling into deep azure eyes” is wonderful. A poignant piece.
I love the sound of the line,
“Bird songs echo empty sunrise streets.” It’s tasty, and takes focus to say aloud and slowly. I think the consideration it requires helps form the mental image and sound.
Gino –
Thank you! I appreciate your gracious words.
sputnik –
I am glad you enjoyed that line Dana.
You are most astute. I attempted to add a subtle •echo• in that line by having the ‘eh’ sounds at the beginning of “echo” and “empty”, each two syllable words, fall back to back.
I am pleased it worked for you. 🙂
It’s the perfect moment, when the times seems to freeze around two persons while the world rushes by unheeded.
VERY good.
Thanks for pointing me to the yang way !
Nathalie
Thank you, and you are most welcome Nathalie! 🙂