Melody
By Rob Kistner | June 22, 2008
…here are two reflections on the concept of melody…
Off Key
•
nature is a song
a melody transcendent
sung in harmony
but this chorus is threatened
humankind grows discordant
• • •
rob kistner © 2008
__________________
Love’s Lilt
•
sometimes
in the clatter
of a thoughtless moment
I forget to listen
fail to hear
the tender lilt
of our heartsong
but
when I am quiet
and we are close
our melody of love
is all I hear
please forgive
my selfish noise
rejoin me
in our sweet duet
I miss
your gentle voice
• • •
rob kistner © 2008
Topics: Free Verse, Haiku, Poetry, Tanka |
June 22nd, 2008 at 10:06 pm
These are both lovely, but I especially like the second one. “I forget to listen.” So true of most of us. Lovely.
June 23rd, 2008 at 8:51 am
I agree. Both are great. I actually prefer the first one more, though.
You’re an excellent writer.
June 23rd, 2008 at 9:57 am
Very nice!
June 23rd, 2008 at 3:43 pm
“in the clatter of a thoughtless moment” - very nice.
June 23rd, 2008 at 5:34 pm
“The clatter of a thoughtless moment” is a great image.
June 24th, 2008 at 8:27 am
I adore ‘the tender lilt of our heartsong’. Marvelous!
June 24th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
Both poems are lovely. The first one is definitely true.
June 24th, 2008 at 2:37 pm
“please forgive
my selfish noise” — one of my own prayers I blush to admit.
Overall, a nice exploration of an image for love.
June 24th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
we do forget to listen too often don’t we…
i like the first one too–i write a lot about eco issues and am working on a climate change post
June 24th, 2008 at 5:38 pm
thought yr title offkey was poetic… and plez 4giv my selfish noise… ditto as to patricia’s thoughts… humble love…
June 25th, 2008 at 9:02 am
Beautifully expressed Rob. I particularly liked the second poem. Lovely. G
June 25th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
They’re both really good, but I enjoyed the first one in which you juxtaposed Nature,s melodies with our “discordant” ones. The music metaphor for our dysfunctional relationship with our environment was great.
Thank You.
(oh, and congratulations on your upcoming wedding!)
June 25th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
Sorry!-my bad-I’m guessing your son’s(?)wedding.
Congratulations to Justin and Christine! (and yes, to you as well, you must feel great!).