Melody

Posted by Rob Kistner | Filed under Free Verse, Haiku, Poetry, Tanka

…here are two forms of reflection on the concept of melody…

 

Off Key

(tanka)

•

version 1

nature is a song
a melody transcendent
sung in harmony

but this chorus is threatened
humankind grows discordant

•

version 2

my love is a song
a melody transcendent
sung in harmony

but she will not sing along
likely she would sing off key

• • •

rob kistner © 2008

__________________

 

Love’s Lilt

(free verse)

•

sometimes

in the clatter
of a thoughtless moment

I forget to listen

fail to hear
the tender lilt
of our heartsong

but

when I am quiet
and we are close

our melody of love
is all I hear

please forgive
my selfish noise

rejoin me
in our sweet duet

I miss
your gentle voice

• • •

rob kistner © 2008

 

Permalink | Comments (13) | Jun 22, 2008

13 Responses to “Melody”

  1. Raven Says:
    June 22nd, 2008 at 10:06 pm

    These are both lovely, but I especially like the second one. “I forget to listen.” So true of most of us. Lovely.

  2. Noah Says:
    June 23rd, 2008 at 8:51 am

    I agree. Both are great. I actually prefer the first one more, though.

    You’re an excellent writer.

  3. Tumblewords Says:
    June 23rd, 2008 at 9:57 am

    Very nice!

  4. Pam Says:
    June 23rd, 2008 at 3:43 pm

    “in the clatter of a thoughtless moment” - very nice.

  5. SandyCarlson Says:
    June 23rd, 2008 at 5:34 pm

    “The clatter of a thoughtless moment” is a great image.

  6. WillThink4Wine Says:
    June 24th, 2008 at 8:27 am

    I adore ‘the tender lilt of our heartsong’. Marvelous!

  7. Sandy Says:
    June 24th, 2008 at 1:55 pm

    Both poems are lovely. The first one is definitely true.

  8. Patricia (a/k/a Roswila) Says:
    June 24th, 2008 at 2:37 pm

    “please forgive
    my selfish noise” — one of my own prayers I blush to admit.

    Overall, a nice exploration of an image for love.

  9. art predator Says:
    June 24th, 2008 at 4:14 pm

    we do forget to listen too often don’t we…

    i like the first one too–i write a lot about eco issues and am working on a climate change post

  10. One More Believer Says:
    June 24th, 2008 at 5:38 pm

    thought yr title offkey was poetic… and plez 4giv my selfish noise… ditto as to patricia’s thoughts… humble love…

  11. Geraldine Says:
    June 25th, 2008 at 9:02 am

    Beautifully expressed Rob. I particularly liked the second poem. Lovely. G

  12. Edward S. Gault Says:
    June 25th, 2008 at 8:56 pm

    They’re both really good, but I enjoyed the first one in which you juxtaposed Nature,s melodies with our “discordant” ones. The music metaphor for our dysfunctional relationship with our environment was great.
    Thank You.
    (oh, and congratulations on your upcoming wedding!)

  13. Edward S. Gault Says:
    June 25th, 2008 at 9:03 pm

    Sorry!-my bad-I’m guessing your son’s(?)wedding.
    Congratulations to Justin and Christine! (and yes, to you as well, you must feel great!).

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