The old man sat quietly
day after day
hands resting on his knees
day after day
hardly moving
save to rouse
raise his hands
brush his brow
then adjust his cap
day after day
quietly
on the same park bench
at the pond
near the same tree
same willow
you could watch him come
mid-morning
see him leave
at dinner time
day after day
sitting there
hands on his knees
quietly
same bench
same tree
one evening
as he sat there
I left my office
walked across the street
into the park
I approached him
smiled
and sat down beside him
quietly
he said nothing
so we sat together
for a while
quietly
on the bench
by the tree
finally
I spoke up
why do you sit here
old man
sit here
everyday
day after day
here on this bench
watching the pond
so quietly
he tilts his head I’ve come here for years
he says softly
but how can that be
I say these office buildings
this park
they’re all new
how could you have come
to this park
for years
not to this park
he says not to this park
to this tree
me
and all my friends
came to willow pond
to this tree
this old willow
for years
day after day
why
I ask why to this tree
quiet smile we played cards
in its shade
he explains
we talked
laughed
we listened
at the pond
in its wonderful shade
day after day
this wonderful willow
where are your friends
I ask why are they not here
with you
on the bench
because
…he hesitates
they are gone
he says finally
quietly
gone
gone where
gone
is all he says
quietly
unmoving
hands on his knees all gone
oh
I say I see
do you
he replies
so why do you sit here
day after day
asking more
I’m listening
listening
I say listening for what
he sits quietly for a while
then
without changing his gaze
without raising his hands
from his knees
he says haltingly for our laughter
our beautiful laughter
I still hear it
hear them
here
on the breeze
in this willow
The old man sat quietly
day after day
hands resting on his knees
day after day
hardly moving …musing
save to rouse
raise his hands
brush his brow
then adjust his cap …catnap
day after day
quietly
on the same park bench
at the pond
near the same tree
same willow …below
you could watch him come
mid-morning …mourning
see him leave
at dinner time …resigned
day after day
sitting there
hands on his knees
quietly
same bench
same tree …he
one evening
as he sat there
I left my office
walked across the street
into the park …dark
I approached him
smiled
and sat down beside him
quietly …expectantly
he said nothing
so we sat together
for a while
quietly
on the bench
by the tree …comradery
finally
I spoke up …interrupt
why do you sit here
old man
sit here
everyday
day after day
here on this bench
watching the pond
so quietly…sullenly
he tilts his head I’ve come here for years
he says softly …calmly
but how can that be
I say these office buildings
this park
they’re all reasonably new
how could you have come
to this park
for years…unclear
not to this park
he says not to this park
to this tree…explicitly
me
and all my friends
came to willow pond
to this tree
this old willow
for years
day after day…pray
why
I ask why to this tree…quizzically
quiet smile we played cards
in its shade
he explains …pertains
we talked
laughed
we listened
at the pond
in its wonderful shade
day after day
this wonderful willow…mellow
where are your friends
I ask why are they not here
with you
on the bench…ma’mensch
because
…he hesitates they are gone
he says finally
quietly …sadly
gone
gone where…share
gone
is all he says
quietly
unmoving
hands on his knees all gone…withdrawn
oh
I say I see…sympathy
do you
he replies …scrutinize
so why do you sit here
day after day
I’m asking …basking
I’m listening…wishing
listening
I say listening for what…jump-cut
he sits quietly for a while
then
without changing his gaze
without raising his hands
from his knees
he says haltingly for our laughter
our beautiful laughter…everafter
I still hear it
hear them
here
on the breeze
in this willow…hello-hello
E xhaustion hangs heavy
anchored ‘round my neck
I cannot stand nor straighten
pinned ‘neath enervation’s wreck
cannot lift this weight
by which my soul’s bound
no energy remains
to carry this burden ‘round
into the slumber realm of Somnus
I sink fathoms fathoms down
S hrouding rains — sanity drains
sorrow celebrates the smothered light
weary winter withers hope’s refrains
no sun to shine, only sour bleak night
greyest grief stirs in the grimacing cold
ghostly mist melts color — this morbid night
on such a night lost souls are sold
broken hearts barren as the blight
hawk moon hovers harsh in a chromium fog
pocking the path from a pitch black sky
foreign and forbidding as a festering bog
this is the dark hour for dreams to die
in this drowning clench of deep despair
horror slithers and dire dejection dwells
horrid misery haunts this harrowing lair
happiness hangs lifeless at broken hope hotel
these stale thoughts
infect my thoughts
making them too pressing
too heavy to hold
or chew
or swallow
or lug
in this massive bag
of regret
my thoughts
my madness
spawned in the bone-white lies
of morality plays
immorality plays
mortality plays
I will play a dirge
sing a bittersweet song
as we come together
as we join
to peel back
all these noxious layers
these caustic
thought
layers
held fast and firm
by this oppressive
cruel sun
whose faux smile sours
in the brittle moonlight
that rises
through the fog
in these dark nights
a brandished
weaponized smile
his radar eyes
scan the forgotten creases
and clandestine getaways
in our minds
squelching our truth
standing over
he looks down
icy eye’d
he sees my scabbed lips
cracked and dry
“cruel sun gotcha”
he smirks
with lethal contempt
let us all cry out
“no more”
let us rip away
this venom
this lethal virus
this heartless evil
so that a new dawn
a new sun will rise
spread its light
and warm our hearts
with the radiance of rebirth
let enlightenment rain
let love pour down
drown this cruel sun
and rekindle the flame of hope
I think I’m going to Mars today
it’s been on my mind for quite some time
a break from the norm is long overdue
no finer distraction — that isn’t taboo
my daily tasks will just have to wait
boredom has been pestering me lately
what to do, who to call, what to read
nothing on tv of much interest tonight
lazin’ ‘round doin’ nuthin’ — yeah right!
I think I’m going to Mars today
travel always seems to be exciting
new things to see when on a trip
new things to learn new places to be
such stimulation is calling to me
it’s been on my mind for quite some time
always the same short trips to be made
dropping the squabbling kids off at school
odds and ends from the same old market
checking on mom to see she’s on target
a break from the norm is long overdue
the rocket ride alone sounds amazing
the martian surface up close — mindblowing
the big red sand dunes seem surreal somehow
the Medusae Fossae Formation — just WOW!
no finer distraction — that isn’t taboo
though leaving does have its concerns
who will take fido for his morning walk
who will make beds, pack lunches, fix dinner
sorry family — mom just don’t have it in her
my daily tasks will just have to wait
In recent months I have been in the very capable care of the Evergreen Neurosciences Institute, waging battle against the challenges of failing memory. I do not plan to go quietly into that empty darkness. I am raging against the fading of my identity. As the challenges increase, so does my determination. I wrote this poem as a response to my situation. It is also a promise to myself that I will never put down the fight.
when that final sundown comes my love
I’ll not be lost in darkness, nor be alone
you’ve made life brighter that the sun
you are my light — you are my home
Texas Hold’em is a type of poker in which players can make their best 5-card hand out of 7 available cards. In Texas Hold-em, players receive two facedown cards as their personal hand (blind hole-cards), after which there is a round of betting. Then three board cards are turned face up simultaneously (called the flop) and another round of betting occurs. The next two board cards are dealt face up to the table, one at a time. The first is called the “turn”. The next card is the last. It’s called the “river”. There is a round of betting after each of these last two cards. A player can “fold” (drop out) at any time.
“In Texas Hold’em, the meek don’t inherit the Earth.” — David Hayano
