The morning feels weightless today, as if the essence of gravity still sleeps. I move slowly through the house, each step soft, each motion carrying a faint shimmer of déjà vu. Nothing dramatic is a’stir— yet something inside me feels rearranged, like a constellation that shifted one star over in the night. I can’t name it, but I can sense it, the way you sense a change in weather before the a wind begins to lift.
My wife’s voice hums, barely above the whisper of the yarn she is carefully pulling through the tines of her loom— a new weave coming to life. The sound seems to float through the doorway like a thread of light, tying me to the moment with surprising gentleness. I pause and let it settle into me. It strikes me that transformation often arrives quietly, waiting for us to notice its presence.
Outside, the trees hold their breath. Moving through cirrus, the morning sunrise glances off the open window in soft, uneven pulses, as though the light itself is waking from a dream. I feel something in me drift toward deliverance— an inner door unlatched, a small release of stubborn resistance. Life doesn’t change in a rush; instead, it reveals its evolving shape in layers, each one asking to be trusted.
Autumn winds skate across the valley, rattling bare tree branches like bamboo chimes. He pauses at the fence line, coat unbuttoned, looking across his field, breath rising in soft clouds. Behind their home, hills frosted in pewter mist.
She had loved these bare November days — the quiet between endings and beginnings. He used to tease her for it. Now, he finally understood.
“Not yesterday I learned to know the love of bare November days, before the coming of the snow,” he whispers, the words wafting from his lips — a prayer that sought no answer.
The camera of the world pulls back: a lone man, standing by a winter gray field, bathed in gentle moonlight. Then it focuses in again — to his trembling hands, his eyes moist with her memory. Transfixed, he faces homeward, the warm glow… lamplight? No — the embers of their enduring love.
“You would’ve turned 49 today. You’re forever on my mind.”
Finish Line
___
(In loving memory of my son, Aaron Kistner: 11/4/76 – 7/3/95)
It is my favorite picture of you son,
the one I treasure most
since your passing.
A simple snapshot,
taken at the airport,
upon your return
from having run the New York City Marathon.
A gentle, triumphant smile,
eyes beaming behind those ‘cool’ shades,
jacket sleeves rolled in casual hip-ness,
bag gripped firm and steady in your left hand,
medal dangling proudly from your strong neck.
The victor: gentle, cool, hip, carefree, proud, and strong,
– fiercely handsome!
How profound this captured moment proved to be.
Taken just before the finish line of your 18 years,
it said it all.
Your race is run,
your bag is packed,
your reward’s in hand.