free verse is my heart’s elation
stiff forms and rhyme make me depressed
my muse balks at forced creation
imagination dims repressed
I’m feeling empty null distressed
when bam a true epiphany
to meet this task I’ll do my best
to write my angst as poetry
~ ~ ~
rob kistner © 2012
_______
Cloistered
when another
tells you of yourself
you’re shown the dance they see
your outward choreography
but you hear not of the music
that rings true in your mind
that leads and drives the steps
to this inward dance they’re blind
you are shown the reflection
not the light that shines inside
that illuminates your soul
to guide your steps and stride
are we the I that we know
the self that we so treasure
or are we in fact the other
the one the others measure
for if the valid I
be the one that is most known
then we are in fact that I
the one to ourselves not shown
for surely when compared
the majority story shared
is of the outward other
the one seen by another
and so we live our life
cloistered in this other
and live this life alone
even when by many known
for the I that’s outward shown
is the I that’s not our own
~ ~ ~
rob kistner © 2012
Morphling
I will not be confined
always in motion
eternal ebb and flow
perpetual like the seas
my spirit an eternal liquid
in everlasting flux
expands unrestrained
seeking freedom
I will not be defined
my nature is fluid
my essence is turbulent
deep but ever changing
my heart in constant surge
challenges boundary
seeking balance that is mine
to change at will
reach not for me
I will not be held
do not name me
I will not be yours
~ ~ ~
rob kistner © 2012
Solitaire
immersed in pleasured chatter
bursts of heightened laughter
in the ringing clank of crystal
of silver on fine china
crisp bustle of starched service
lush rustle of satin’d lace
aglow in silken’d candlelight
caressed by gentle strains
wafts of sweet Bordeaux
heady fragrance of cut orchids
midst soft din and dance of mirth
I gaze upon your empty face
and see there in your hollow eyes
our game is solitaire
~ ~ ~
rob kistner © 2012
Perception’s Window
we are infinite beings
awaking slowly
from some infinite place
our coming to be
unknown to us as any mystery
our essence an enigma
learned in stories
in waiting relationships
gradually we open to our identity
awareness dawns
like the rising of a newborn sun
breaking on our window of perception
we feel its warmth
and flow effortlessly into timelessness
as though immortal
we see not over the horizon
for we see no horizon
but limitless eternity
we comprehend no end
immersed only in the now
given of our origin
it is therein exists the miracle of life
we are infinite beings in this moment
dreaming to sustain the moment
~ ~ ~
rob kistner © 2012
Deep
I sleep the sleep
of the peaceful deep
where pain is quelled
and secrets keep
where hands of time
no longer sweep
and sorrow sewn
no need to reap
fall quiet love
please do not weep
my lifelong climb
had grown too steep
my soul longed
to sleep this sleep
for I’m at peace
in this silent deep
______________________
my peace
soul-felt profound
down down ever down
into the waiting silence
without so much a single sound
absorbed
my spirit drowned
without so much a ripple
into the mute eternal
that gently buffets all around
~ ~ ~
rob kistner © 2012
Dwellers
I feel you
living
breathing
thinking
deep within the confines
of my shadowy psyche
your presence is palpable
visceral
I am not alone
my emotions
obsessions
my impulses are not yet mine
exclusively
I
am not
we
are dwellers
and we are at odds
conflicted
torn between the heroic
and the horrific
dark evil urges
spawned in the blackest voids of my soul
at war with inclinations toward the sacred
a precarious balance
between the compulsion to ravage
and the wisdom to relish
between a mania to consume
and a desire to sustain
between murder
and mercy
madness
and clarity
the duality rages unchecked
struggles
against the constraints of convention
and the confusion of mindless chaos
stirring the unquenchable ache
to break the shackles of acquiescence
to rise above morality
longing for raw freedom
to unleash the beautiful beast within
the essence of natural self
to be Nietzsche’s begotten
attentive to impulse
guided by core instinct
but
I think
therefore I am
at odds
for life
~ ~ ~
rob kistner © 2012
Footprints
angry at the wind
at the rain
at daylight
angry at your smile
at the sound of your voice
angry at it all
this now
is where I live
and how
still you come
the storm-tossed nights
like a vapor
void emotion
leaving false footprints
in my rutted dreams
puddled shallow promises
with an offered coat
of synthetic sympathy
edges rough as a rope
peeled back
hypocrisy exposed
shivering
I wrap it ’round me
seeking warmth
but it is not supple
ill-fitted
it does not hold my form
nor bring comfort
your footprints
mark my soul
but you do not remember
the bend of my arm
nor the linen
that slid
slippery underfoot
on the marble aisle
as we stalked love
nor the vain promise
it would be constant
as the wind
as the rain
as daylight
~ ~ ~
rob kistner © 2012
Elusivity
veiled in promise
they beckon me
seductively
the elusive dreams
upon my heart embossed
yet there is a storm
can rage within
to churn at times
my weary mind
focus turned and tossed
the way grows foggy
direction blurred
the path unclear
the purpose slurred
this journey can exhaust
to stay the course
I cast and chart
and reference often
in handmade note
but not every “t” gets crossed
so my life gets lived
in bits and pieces
scribbled on scraps
of random papers
so many soon so lost
in losing them
confusion rises
chaos threatens
hopes can scatter
my elusive dreams the cost
~ ~ ~
rob kistner © 2012
Transcend
this week at sfmoma
fell captive
to the genius of mehretu
rolled close in my chair
soul-toppled into stadia
carried off by the brilliance
made the journey
took the trip
my soul expanded a bit
after
there was salad
on a table
graced by orchids
julie on my mind
~ ~ ~
rob kistner © 2012
Evening Prayer
sun sits low on the horizon
dusk slowly advances
the breath of night begins to stir
all the daydreams are gone to bed
I sit quiet
on my ole bench
soothed by the cool breeze
warmed by the memories
that huddle ’round me
from far into the past
they drift
forward through the years
they visit gently
one by one
memories of those
I’ve been well to know
those I’ve been blessed to love
those that have got beyond
a tender tear for every one
a sweetness fills the air
just a touch of soft regret
my heart is full
my spirit calm
I surrender
to fate’s embrace
would this evening never end
but soon
the lingering day
will bow its head
twilight too will fade
as the waxing night
blankets my repose
I fall still
and pray
pray
when soon carried away
it be in deep
peaceful sleep
~ ~ ~
rob kistner © 2012
Friendship
raise the carafe with care
pour forth freely
to drink deep
this wine of friendship
ripened well with time
aged to a vintage true
the seasons have been kind
to this nectar rare
let its heady fragrance
sweeten all your thoughts
and its bright taste
linger long and lush
may it lighten your burden
warm your heart
and lift your spirit
to a place of peace & beauty
~ ~ ~
rob kistner © 2012
Heart’s Feast
I am in love
with falling in love
it is the most fragile
most fleeting
human experience
reciprocated
it is sublime
beyond measure
or words
when it ends
we fall in love
with the memory
of falling
and the heart loves on
longingly
achingly
gloriously
~ ~ ~
rob kistner © 2012
Rivers of Tears
once lithe and vital
nature’s great rivers
lie choked and bloated
buried misshapen
in watery graves
of reckless progress
headstone’d
by constructs
of human folly
their bones
stained
with the ghosts of salmon
borne away
on the tears
of the ancients
~ ~ ~
rob kistner © 2012
Spring’s Interlude
may winds whisper, soon summer’s arrival
in time to insure humor’s survival
winter’s rains held firm and quite long this year
but stubborn skies at last begin to clear
the seasons bow for this brief interlude
as if to hail my brightened attitude
seeds push eager sprouts through warm fertile earth
as nature cycles to this time of birth
buds pop boldly forth through ripe ready limb
new waters push fresh streams beyond their brim
bird songs sparkle crisp through tall greening trees
fragrance of new bloom wafts soft stirring breeze
all ’round the hues and sound of boisterous spring
quiet and sweet, my heart begins to sing
~ ~ ~
…and this time in the rhythm of iambic…
the wind sighs soon fair summer will arrive
to guarantee my humor will survive
the rains of winter held on long this year
but now the sky above’s becoming clear
the seasons bow to greet this interlude
as if to hail my brightened attitude
new seeds push eager sprouts up through warm earth
as nature cycles to this time of birth
bold buds pop forth through ripe and ready limb
fresh waters push clear streams beyond their brim
the songs of birds lilt crisp through greening trees
the fragrance of new blooms wafts soft the breeze
all ’round the hues and sound of boisterous spring
as pure and sweet my heart begins to sing
~ ~ ~
rob kistner © 2012