like a prodigal sun
on a startled winter evening
causing him to squint
blinking away happiness
like sand in the eyes of love
you were there
the disapproving guest
at the final edit party
you took his cues
took his keys
took his shoes
took his leave
you took him for a fool
it wasn’t you didn’t want him
you said
you simply saw yourself
in a different movie
with a different ending
no broken hearts
at least
not yours
and the stranded man
in the leather chair
had my face
had no expectations
made no demands
held you responsible
for nothing
and you left the table
cashed in your winnings
climbed the winding stairs
silk purse in hand
his heart in your pocket
to place it at midnight
on your balcony sill
to watch it wither in the moonlight
he had no need for it
nor most certainly
did you
and the night lark sang
and a silver tear
fell hard as steel
from his crystal’d cheek
which you collected in a sterling box
and tossed into the sea
~ ~ ~
rob kistner © 2011
(revision © 2018)
Sad and beautiful at the same time. Lovely write on loss.
ugh….makes me sad when someone tramples on someone else’s feelings… love the imagery in this rob – esp. the below stanza is a fav..
and you left the table
cashed in your winnings
climbed the winding stairs
silk purse in hand
his heart in your pocket
to place it at midnight
on your balcony sill
to watch it wither in the moonlight
really beautiful, sad, yes, but filled with great imagery. i liked this best:
“and the stranded man
in the leather chair
had my face
had no expectations
made no demands
held you responsible
for nothing”
Lovely play on the Prodigal Son and sun.
I especially like your imagery in the concluding stanza; together with the alliteration, it creates a vivid sense of hardness and brittleness.
superb imagery is all throughout this poem. great work!
This dream of vast unrequietal is so sweetly disturbing – it lilts and soothes and swings as if the dreamer has forgotten his heart is being tossed into the abyss.
Amazing piece Rob, absolutely love it. There’s a uniqueness in here I just love. Exceptionally done, thanks for the read
He had your face? almost surreal kind of feel to this piece… enjoyed it much…… especially the play on the prodigal “sun.”
i love the scene that you recreated here… very touching and poignant…thanks for your kinds in my blog.. i needed it ~
A tragic tale of loss, portrayed really well, great job!
You have really conjured up some magic here Rob
so texturised and well crafted – the images lit up my mind and i enjoyed every word and its consequence of melancholy and reflection
thank you
sad and beautiful.
Who hasn’t(except the very young and fresh) sat in that chair and felt that spear through the heart that’s been frozen, or in this case, surgically removed..very real, very well said, and especially powerful in understatement.
I enjoyed your word play here, from “prodigal sun” to the “silk purse” that inevitably made me think of a sow’s ear, to the “night lark” that both upends morning larks and night owls alike.
This reads like a dream of rejection, in which the protagonist somehow cannot hold his tormentor responsible. Pity.
Wonderfully visual. Could picture silver tears in a sterling box thrown into a moon-silvered sea…
Thanks for the fun!
dang…you have evoked a depth of feel here with some beautiful imagery to boot rob, the lark the tear in the end is felt….him having your face is a nice touch as well, turning personal…yet sounding a bit detached and making it as surreal as being in the situ
hi Rob– evocative and fluid– this poem reaches into the heart and so are we connected in our empathy–xxxj –
This poem is so lovely beautiful and sad all in one
http://gatelesspassage.com/2011/10/11/the-day-of-the-dead/
Rob! best poem I’ve read all day. no kidding, man.
this poem works. great words. great flow. good feeling.
I like this. very good writing fella.
3 Wows for this one.
thanks for sharing.
Sad, but with the ring of authenticity.
You had me at the opening line! Beautifully evocative 🙂
Thank you Sanaa, very much. I am pleased that this drew you in…
Interesting and original writing Rob. I found:
“and the stranded man
in the leather chair
had my face”
Especially telling….
Thank you Scott. I was looking to create a sense of shock, of detached disbelief that this was happening, yet a part the victim realizes it is in fact happening to him…
Your opening lines are superb. A poem of loss, so well expressed. Nice to see you, Rob!
Thank you Sherry… I look forward to participating here on Poetry Pantry next year, as circumstances permit. I am also planning to complete the self-publishing project I started several years ago, before I was laid low by health. I figured that rough period was a warning that I better get it done while I am still alive to do it… 🙂
This really stings… to see there and feel that sharp sting, we have all been there, and this more than this, it’s our constant fear. So nice to see old friends commenting back when this was first published.
Yes, I have had a couple broken hearts in my life, and one was a devastating shock, so had personal fodder for this piece. I realized as I was revising this piece Biorn, that Brian and Brendan had both commented on the original publication. I have participated in online writing communities (primarily poetry), since they began cropping up at the beginning of this millennia. I can remember participating in at least 10 such sites in that early period. I have personally published 2 prompt sites for poetry and writing over the years. I was publishing my Writer’s Island prompt site when dVerse/OneShot was born. Brian and I had become online friends back then. The virtual world can be a small place
This is one of those poems that births a lump in the reader’s throat. One can’t look at this exchange without feeling the speaker’s pain, the subject’s disregard… You are so good at setting, at providing the details that shape the emotions in just the right way. A fact that is perfectly illustrated in the closing, in the way the subject gets rid of the results of the speaker’s loss, and flings it away, to get lost in salty waves.
Thank you Magaly, I appreciate your kind words. I am glad you enjoyed this. I love creating solid elements of setting/place, always have. Even the “bopper” rock lyrics I wrote as a teenager for my early bands featured nobs toward setting/place. I always felt in drew the listener/reader in by helping them visualize the surroundings, to the best degree I was able – thus hopefully increasing the impact. Example: Yes, the lonely beachcomber was experiencing a broken heart… doing so while he wandered aimlessly the wave-swept beach, breeze warm on his face, with the surf softly crashing, as the moon, glinting sterling in his tears, shone a silvery path out to sea – beckoning him. Those are the essence of lyrical phrases I worked into a song, “Lonely Beachcomber”, that I wrote in 1962, at age 15.
I agree, sad but beautifully written.
Thank you Vicki, very much…
A well crafted poem of profound lost!
Appreciate your kind words Mary…
This works as being a real heartbreak of a poem!
Thank you so much Colleen…
A thrill to read again, Rob — time serves it well — and it’s funny we both chose poems from 2011 to replay at this Pantry. Observing all this from the sidelines makes for an interesting vantage on the narrative.
Thank you Brendan, glad it still resonates for you… we were on the same wavelength on this one…
ouch – I can feel the sting of that salted tear. The imagery is vivid and one can see and feel the pain.
I am pleased this resonated for you Truedessa…
Arresting imagery!
But:
‘held you responsible
for nothing’ ?????
I think he does, or he wouldn’t be saying all this – would he?
Hi Rosemary. Thank you for your compliment. He is in such frozen shock that he isn’t feeling anything, no pain, no joy, no blame… not as this plays out here in real-time. He is disassociated from his feelings, he is a disconnected observer in the body of the poem. The other clue to his frame of mind is the single steel tear and the crystal cheek. There is no heat of anger or sorrow, no warmth of joy, just the unfeeling cold of steel and crystal – he is in shock. I am certain when he lifts out of the real-time trauma of what’s happened, there will be many emotions…
oh man, this is brutal, a punch to the heart, maybe a stab with a knife too and a twist to the blade.
superb imagery, beautiful but sad. maybe some of us have seen this scene before…
Glad this resonated for you dsnake… I venture to say, if one lives long enough, they will likely experience some version of this.
Strong images in this powerfully rendered piece … the repetition of ‘took’ is so impactful.
I am glad this resonated for you Wendy…
to place it at midnight
on your balcony sill
to watch it wither in the moonlight… lovely imagery!
I am pleased this resonated for you Thot… 🙂 that’s a cold hearted woman…
Such a poignant piece of lost love. It makes you cry! You wonder how can someone be so ruthless to not care and just play with your emotions! This poem evokes strong feelings of loss, pain and loneliness…
Wonderfully written
The world is full of men and women who are true sociopaths. If you have not met one, thank your lucky stars – and pray you never do Kislaya…
Beautifully written, Rob. Nice to see you again.
Thank you KB… greetings… 🙂