Turbulent Indifference

Proverb: “silence can speak volumes”

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“Unmask” by: Maxence

…are we really happy here with this lonely game we play
looking for words to say…
Leon Russell

 

O utside
the evening breeze
freshens

copper windchimes
hanging from the eaves
ring from time to time

inside
we sit with dinner
and complacency

there is little resonance

meal finished
we clear the table
unspeaking

task done
we part quietly

me
to my desk
to write

you
to your chair
to read

outside
sunset
softly shades
the side deck

tubular bells
quietly chime
in gathering twilight

inside
soft shadows
blanket subtle activity

outside
a wakening wind
greets day’s end

chimes
vigorously keep pace

inside
turbulent indifference
veils your face

as I write
I wonder

are we happy
are you happy
16 years my junior

if we are
why is it
we do not say

do we mask with silence
to hide

to hide the vulnerable face
of love

or to hide the emptiness
the lonliness

how dangerously foolish
this emotional masquerade

should I speak
rouse you
from your pulp and plot

should I
lift my mask

should we both
before our love
slips silently away

but what to say
what can mute hearts
share

what is there
to say

perhaps
it’s all been said
so I go to bed

I hear the car door
as you drive
into the night

outside
tuned copper
chimes in darkness

inside
silence
rings aloud

*
rob kistner © 2021

Poetry at: dVerse

 

Written and performed by Leon Russell

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Sting, with Portland OR’s Chriss Botti on trumpet

30 thoughts on “Turbulent Indifference”

  1. I remember you posted this poem or one very like it before. It is a conundrum of what to do with the silence. I think it’s better to talk it out but my practice has been to let it be. Not a good choice for me.

    1. I am a writer Ron. If I weren’t so easily distracted, or bored, I would have been a novelist. I have great focus, concentration, and imagination — short term. But long term duration is not my strength. Only very occasionally do I apply myself to arms-length autobiography. However, the thoughts, emotions, observations, and opinions are to-the-bone authentic, drawn from life experiences. So unless I am writing about the natural world, the casts, characters, and settings of my works are usually composites or imagined… but certainly not always. However, if I take you into the natural world, you can know I take you to a place I have physically encountered, and usually more than once — and which has imprinted itself upon my soul.

  2. A wonderful heartfelt poem, Rob. I really like your musings of the mind. So true and so near to home…
    what is there
    to say

    perhaps
    it’s all been said
    so I go to bed

  3. Rob, you have the amazing capacity to bring me into the core of your poems … that requires unique talent. I was there, I witnessed every emotion, thought. Bravo.

    1. Wow, that is so gracious Helen — and I am so pleased I am able to do that for you. Perhaps when I am dead and gone, others may stumble over my body of work, and find a similar resonance. That way I may have life after death. I think about that sometimes, especially after a serious health scare. I haven’t the patience, understanding, or where-with-all to publish. Much of my 50 years of writing is scattered about on scraps of paper. I lived a rock & roll hippy lifestyle, even as a sound reinforcement, and home theater designer. That includes my years with George’s Lucasfilm LTD. most of the last nearly 20 years of my writing lives online, spread over 4 different websites. So there it may die when I am not around to tend it. I already lost all my minimalist work that was on my “From The Red Chair” site, when it expired while I was going through my pacemaker surgery and recovery. Oh well. I ramble. But I genuinely appreciate your always kind words Helen. 🙂

  4. Thank God this is not a scenario I can relate to, Taciturn I am not. I’m a firm believer in confronting issues and problems, to the chagrin of family and friends. But as a poem, you make us feel you write from personal experience; a testament to your skill as a writer.

    1. I do write from an amalgam of personal experience, though the specifics in my works may be composited — the emotions, observations, snd opinions are bone-broke real. I seem to be a fount of retained emotional memory, I think that may be why it comes through. Who the fuck knows brother. You, like me, carry a lot of years of experience. It can’t help but pour out at times, just by default. Thank you Glenn for your continued support and kindness my friend… it is appreciated. 🙂

    1. Thank you Sanaa. There are some excellent poets and writers who visit and link their fine work to this d’Verse site, so it is both a joy and an honor to be associated and acknowledged among the group. 🙂

    1. Thank you Christine. There comes that point in many relationships. After my nearly two wild and free decades as a singer in R&B and Rock bands, I was not very good at monogamous relationships, so my first two marriages combined begat 3 truly great kids, but I failed at getting past the molten stage, and mastering the deeper love of a partner. That is my way of saying that I am also quite familiar with the impasse, and how not to handle it. My third long term relationship has lasted 34 years, and still it will go into the future. 31 of those years we are married now. I found my way to that stronger bond of enduring love this time, with Kathy. It took me 40 years to grow into an adult — although I still reserve and nurture my sense of wonder, just redacted the area of wonder regarding “other women”. I am much more deeply satisfied now, and have finally underdtood that everyone disagrees at times, but working through to the other side is rewarding.

  5. This is just stunning – really beautiful and heart wrenching. I’ve experienced the silence too, and not dared break it. But then I’ve also had to remind myself “least said, soonest mended”. I don’t know where the balance is.
    And I have a tubular tuned windchime is chiming at the moment. 🙂

    1. Thank you very much Kate, you gracious words are much appreciated. I write because I love it, and touching others is one reason I love it — making a connection. It is so wonderful to know that thr connection does occur. Thank you for visiting, reading, and being part of that. 🙂

    1. Thank you Merril! I am very happy this worked for you. My entire focus was to create a visual presentations (scenes), with minimal words, that would show the relationship at a pivotal, perhaps impossible point — and hopefully that it be “seen”, as well as felt, by the reader.

  6. Scripture tells us to ” love without hypocrisy”
    Shall we ever untangle this?
    Poignant words Rob!

    1. Thank you. I am pleased this resonated for you. I was working several images to signal conflict/contrast as signs of pending possible failure of the relationship. The sun going down — darkness spreading. The ringing of the chimes compared to the since, as you noted. The beautiful sounds being outside of the house, no resonance inside the house. His concern they should speak to each other — his final resignation that it is probably of no use. He, the older man, goes to bed. She, the younger woman, goes driving in the night — we know not where.

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