At 72, I have grown up immersed in a climate of blatant prejudices, and the related verbal slurs. I have also been exposed first hand to the social movements that have arisen to strike out against the prejudices harbored against race, gender, sexual preference, ethnicity, physical disability, age, and others. While not personally engaged in these movements, I have always felt they were just.
However, I have learned that in addition, I’ve also been “unconsciously” conditioned not to recognize the more subtle prejudices that now have a social light shined upon them. I am not knowingly prejudice because I feel no animosity toward these groups I mentioned. I grew up with, and still have “black” friends, “gay” fellow band members, and a “ Chinese woman” doctor. These are people I value as part of my life. I ‘think’ benignly at times with these adjectives in association with them, never voicing such. There’s no thought or intent of it being a form of prejudice. It is simply what I understand I see when I look.
I know the terms that I consider derogatory descriptors, find them highly objectionable, and don’t use them, out of respect and decency. But in recent years, exposed to the PC environment, these terms are now prejudicial. It is a very confusing time for this old man. Difficult to be learning that these terms are now considered to be provocative, that I’m apparently hopelessly preconditioned to be insensitive, even prejudiced. There are terms and acronyms today, related to sex and gender, completely unfamiliar to me.
As I said, this is confusing to this old man. I am trying to learn, but with my health and age essentially isolating me from daily social interaction for the past 8 years – it is hard to know what constitutes evolving PC thinking. Difficult to realize you’re out of step.
I’m a stranger in my world
socially sidetracked
~ ~ ~
rob kistner © 2019
I do understand what you say… it’s hard to follow, and I have also noticed that age strips you of your former privileges you might have had… (I feel it too).
Some words I have felt were just descriptive have turned to be bad… I feel confused, but I’m also blessed with a working place with people from all part of the world that come from the very narrow part of being trained at University,
Makes me feel very old and out of touch. Like Grace commented, if I don’t get it, I don’t respond.
The internet “relationships” are very ambiguous at times. There is something like “internet prejudice” that is difficult to grasp. In the end, prejudice, as I think you said, is born from misunderstanding or from our inability to understand and accept.
The best I can do Ricardo is be kind, and be quiet when I am bewildered.
The “correct” and “socially” acceptable terms today are confusing. If I am not sure, I just keep quiet and not say anything specific. I know what you mean about being out of step. I ask my kids about it when I am not sure of the terms. Take care Rob!
My kids are in their 40’s so at times they don’t know the terms. Like you Grace, if I don’t know, I don’t comment.
We are products of a gentler, kinder time. Much of what I see on the internet I don’t even want to understand, and I’ve become quite adept at the “Hide post” button! Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
You’re welcome Beverly. I feel completely out of touch sometimes.
Hi Rob. I, too, find it hard to keep up with what is acceptable. I guess in the end, we just need to consider the heart of the person who is speaking to us. There are so many categories, now, of offense, and sometimes all this debate about titles deflects us from what is really important–and that is how we feel about each other, hopefully regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, age, size and. . . .
Absolutely Judy, the ambiguous trappings of civility have overshadowed the intent.
This feeling of being sidetracked can be pretty harsh. Your experiences and compassion are thoughtfully portrayed here. I am sorry about this feeling of isolation, Rob! Your words mean a lot.
Anmol, thank you for visiting and commenting. It is very strange what has occurred for me. My ongoing arteriosclerosis caused my 3rd heart attack in 2012, which saw my third angioplasty and heart stent. This all served to ecxaerbate my diabetes, resulting in brittle diabetes, and peripheral neuropathy of my feet. I now require insulin injections 5-6 times daily, a regimen of pills 3 times daily, and standing and walking are very difficult, requiring a cane, or a mobility scooter for more demanding situations. I do get out to the doctor, to my cardiac rehabilitation exercises, and occasional marketing or a movie – but I am essentially relegated to living at home, with very minimal social interaction. The pacemaker I had implanted in 2017, in combination with the neuropathy, all but eliminated air travel. It is amazing what quickly slips away regarding current social awareness when you are no longer in the dailey step. Most of the interaction I get with the outside world is via the internet, and that is a very narrow, myopic, inconsistent and unreliable vision of the world. I was highly social in my adult life. I was an entertainer, contemporary furniture designer, European furniture importer, regular air traveler, and became a national liaison for the George Lucas, Lucasfilm Ltd. with my office on Skywalker Ranch. I was very active and current in the social loop. I was suddenly and unexpectedly sidetracked by my health, and fell completely out of the social step almost overnight, and remain so today. It is astounding the shift in what’s PC today. In a decade I have come to feel a stranger in my world. I find it both extremely interesting, and remarkably frustrating.
I am a couple years older than you, but our feelings are parallel. I am ashamed of the racist sexist behavior I exhibited in the 50’s. The 60’s brought me to my senses. By the way, sir, considering your health challenges, it is remarkable to still see you among us. I worked for 30 years at the VA, and I knew very few diabetics who made 70. It is a kudo to your tenacity and modern medicine. I, personally, don’t feel quite as out of touch as you do. My three daughters and younger wife make me aware of the prudent parameters. Love you, brother. Nice haibun too.
Thank you for your acknowledgment of my haibun. We of us boomers who had a soul grew above that ridiculous 40’s/50’s prejudice influence. Yes dude, I know how lucky I am to be into my 70’s, especially being a brittle diabetic. The heart problems are exacerbated by the diabetes and vice versa, si I am fighting on two fronts. But I keep fighting, and leave docs, great meds, and a Libre electronic glucose monitor inserted in my arm. It did almost get me in April 2017, but I was in the hospital recovering from an angioplasty stent insertion when my heart stopped, so I was s@ved, and earned my pacemaker. Peace man!
I have had various friends who have been/are homebound for long periods of time. Every visit is like a window for them to what they can’t experience themselves. I feel for your inability to get out and about.
I think we all age out of what’s contemporary in acceptability. We can only attempt to listen and reach out with kindness in return. And apologize when we stumble.
I am not a total shut in Kerfe. I get out to market, go to my doctors, an occasional resturaunt – but not in social settings where I’d mix with a variety of folks.
your haiku is brilliant Rob, says to me how we can discriminate by being too caught up in our mental vacuum
Thank you Gina. I am please this resonated for you… 🙂