This Night

As you read this Christmas poem, with its taste of bittersweetness, see it not in a dark light — embrace it as a tale of a long-awaited journey, to be with the one beloved.


digital collage entitled: “Christmas Tear” – by: rob kistner © 2011

 

B rushed my shoulder on this morning’s train
then at the market it was there again
while in line to get my breakfast tea
from our favorite table it beckoned me

in the crowd at the festive mall
glimpsed like a flicker of candle light
I swear I saw it fleeting fall
upon the gifts I did not wrap this night

upon the tree I did not decorate
the greeting cards I did not write
in frail voice I chastise fate
singing carols doesn’t feel right

this season I see it everywhere
the shadow of your love
elusive as a shopper’s smile
caught up in the crush and shove

but soon I’ll catch and hold it close
warmly to my breast
it will sweetly fill my heart
lay soft with me this midnight rest

for it returns this night each year
the same night you went away
in dreams you kiss away each tear
touch my lips that beg you stay

taken from my life in sleep
gone without a last goodbye
as we dreamed at midnight deep
each year I weep and wonder why

but this year I’ll not awaken blue
in the end an easy thing to do
this night I’ll make our dreams come true
this midnight deep I will come to you

*
rob kistner © 2011
update by rob kistner © 2021

Poetry at: dVerse

This poem originally posted 2011: at Magpie Tales

61 thoughts on “This Night”

    1. Thank you Viv, it is nice to see you visit and share your thoughts from time to time… 😉 this melancholy seems not to lift altogether, perhaps I’ve entered my Poe-esque period…?

  1. Rob, this is very moving and poignant and resonates with any of us – read ALL of us – who have lost loved ones. Especially at this season.
    Take good care of that heart of yours, kiddo.

  2. heartfelt write… and I loved this part,

    “this season I see it everywhere
    the shadow of your love
    elusive as a shopper’s smile
    caught up in the crush and shove”

    and that line about the shopper’s smile really stood out.. very clever… great, great writing

  3. Many of us have lost loved ones
    during the holidays. We lost my
    father-in-law on Christmas Eve
    8 years ago. Your poem reminds
    us that the Big Lie, the Madison
    Ave. pitches are mostly Hallmark
    bullshit, and childish gibberish.
    Yet, your poet’s heart keeps us
    from morphing into grinchdom.

  4. Damn, I loved it in 2011, and I still do. Your digital artwork has graced so much of your poetry, your creative talent erupts everywhere. My Blackthorne poem was first posted in 2011 too, both on MAGPIE TALES and d’Verse. Great minds and kinship of souls, brother.

    1. It was fascinating for me to unearth this piece today. I believe I only posted this on Tess’s site. We are “old soul” brothers my friend — but I am glad to still be here this Christmas season.

    1. The heart wants what the heart wants, and if no innocents suffer, then pursuing love is pretty besutiful — no matter how unusual it may appear Reena. That is my perspective.

  5. A love story punctuated with the small daily reminders and finalized with the other-worldly reuniting. Lovely.

    1. Thank you Ron! I actually read my spoken word performance piece entitled “Fragments Im Blue”. “This Night” was a piece from 10 years ago that I just happened to dig up. Had the right kind of bittersweetness to match my mood.

  6. Gut-wrenchingly honest, and beautiful elegy: and you achieved it all in rhyme, with the meter sweeping us along in your wake to a “midnight deep,” alluding to the way she passed away in her sleep, “gone without a last goodbye.” May God comfort you, Rob, with His peace.
    Pax,
    Dora

    1. Death takes many forms Ingrid. Perhaps the most tragic and heart rending comes before there has been the chance to explore the possibilities of a full love — nearly impossible to resolve, because the one remaining is forever haunted by, if only.

  7. I love what you dug out from your tressure chest… and also amazing to see all those poets, with some not around anymore…

    1. Thank you Bjorn. I have published 6 different poetry blogs, spanning just over 20 years of online community. My very first was “From The Red Chair”, first published in 1999, and which carelessly I allowed to close. This poetry blog, “Image & Verse” is my second oldest, reaching back 17 years. In that stretch I have had 4 other poetry blogs that I’ve published, opening and becoming inactive: “Image & Verse Too”, “reflect”, “Writer’s Island”, and “Matinée Muse”. Those last two were sites, upon which I offered poetry and writing prompts internationally to the online writing community. I enjoy going back from time to time, reminiscing about the several hundred poets I have shared with — reading both their comments, and any of their poetry and writing still actively linked over the internet. It’s been a wonderful 2+ decade creative experience.

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