Had I Followed


Photo entitled “Edges” – by: Pensiero

 

Had I Followed

~

I have followed this path
ever onward
to where it has lead

followed its rise
its fall
in concentric circles of time
sweeping always outward

there is much I have seen
and have experienced

much I’ve missed
and never known

much I’ve stumbled upon
stumbled over
always to collect myself
and follow on

I have encountered the unknown
been confused
lost my way
suffered sorrow

I have embraced the wonder
found enlightenment
understood
known joy

but ever on
this path does lead

and I
in measured step
must ever follow

had I followed another
what then

I know now
it would be no different
for I understand

I chose the other
every time

I am not on this path
I am this path

~ ~ ~

rob kistner © 2019

 

More answers to Merril’s question, “what if?” at dVerse…

Poetics: Time and What If?

36 thoughts on “Had I Followed”

    1. Hi Mish, have a great 2019! I am pleased this resonated for you. If we don’t own the path we are on, and realize that we brought ourselves to where we are, and “own it”, knowing at every moment we control the direction – then we will either dwell powerlessly in regret, or be consumed by blaming others for our situation. I invite you to read the comment I made here to Bjorn.

  1. I like the final line of being the path… then maybe there is not a different path than the one we’ve taken.

    1. Hi Bjorn! Happy New Year. I feel this poem is in line with something my father always said to me, “no matter where you go, there you are, right where you should be – so “be” there!” It was this simple back-pocket philosophy that inspired this poem. In hindsight, regret was seldom a burden I labored with for very long, the result of these words from the caring man who adopted me – my father. He may not have graduated high school, but he was very wise in practical matters of living life. He also used to say, “the plow goes the direction the horse is pulling – so guide the horse, don’t fight the plow.” Another was, “in matters of making deals and making love, even the obvious sometimes must be spoken.” Brilliant loving man!

  2. I got a sense of contentment from this–that is the writer has gone through much, but is now content to be where he is now. (I’m assuming this is you, but, perhaps not.) I like the final line, the realization that he is the path.

    1. Happy new year Merril. Your observation is on point. It took a while, but allowing the simple, but profound wisdom, of the deeply caring words, shared with me many times, by the man who adopted me, to eventually sink into my soul – I have essentially found peace in the life that is mine. The man was truly my “father”, and my hero. I invite you to read my comments made here to Bjorn and Mish, regarding my father.

  3. I like the conclusion of: I am this path.

    I like to believe our life’s choices affect and mold us, into what we are today.

    Happy new year!!!! Hope the holidays was restful.

    1. I am pleased you liked this Grace. We are the sum of our actions and decisions, the good and the bad, the yin and the yang – both essential in the balance! Thank you for the well wishes, and may 2019 bring you joy and peace!

  4. Thank you for sharing this amazing piece, Rob. It is exactly what I needed to read at this very moment. Happy New Year, and thank you again.

    1. You are very welcome Susan, I am honored you liked it! I enjoyed your take on the “what if”. I included a bit of well-meant humor in my comment on your site…

    1. Hi Mary. What I allude to philosophically is the fact that we ARE that sum total of the strps of the path we have taken, and are still tsking through life. Ultimately, we are inseparable from the sum of the actions we have taken and the decisions we have made.

    1. We are completely responsible for who we are. We either took actions in our life, or made decisions about our encounters. In both cases we “own” these, they are the path we have taken. Jade, too many people want to blame other people or circumstances for who they are. We are either at the cause of our life, meaning we take the responsibility to be empowered – or we are at the affect of our life, the victim. Chosing to see oneself as a victim is a completely disempowered situation.

  5. I bow to your wise father, Rob. The phrase “wherever you go there you are” is one of my favorites. It should be tattooed on the arm of those who think the grass is always greener!

    1. He was kind and wise, and a very strong person, emotionally and physically. As I said in my comments, he understood how to live life and respect others. He was a natural leader, with a selfmade positive philosophy. The world would be so well served if we could all be more like he genuinely was as a human being.

  6. your poem reads like a soft prayer of gratitude for a life well lived, it speaks so much of a soul that has been through much but still up for the next challenge – love your simple honest words

    1. The last stanza of this piece is the heart if this piece. I am glad that couplet reached you Barry. It is how I have come to hold life and love. These are not happening to me, they are me, snd I am wholly responsible for how they manifest for me. They do not come to me, they must come from me. I am at the cause of my reality, not at the affect.

  7. The Greek root “bios” which we base our study of life, biology, as well as map one’s life with biography, also meant the bow of a ship, cutting the waters ahead: It is both intention (how I live my life) and fate (how the sea pulls us along). And so as you say in the last lines, we aren’t on the path, we are the path. I wonder what my life might have added up to had I stepped differently — mastered a different course — but perhaps would the waters have brought me to this place anyway? Who knows. But yours is a fine meditation on the topic.

    1. Thank you Brendan, I am glad this piece worked for you. From my perspevtive, the path is the journey to become ourselves, so any step taken will lead one to that ultimate destination. We are the path. That said, there can really be no wrong step, only the one we took. There are an order of magnitude of variables within and around the span of a lifetime, that to say “I could have done better”, or “I could have made a better life”, or any such variation on that, is ludicrous – and a waste of time to even consider. But so many people lead themselves to the pit of regret, turning that question over and over in their minds. You may have had a different life, but the comparative quality is indeterminable. I find “what if” to be the gateway to despair, mental illness, even insanity.

    1. Hi Lillian! 🙂 I considered the fact that when we reach points in our life path where decisions must be made, even if they are minor, we make our evaluations regarding which is better for us. In looking at our choices we decide – no, I will not make that choice(s), I will choose the “other” – so essentially, we choose the “other” everytime, by eliminating the choice(s) we don’t make. Ultimately, we are the creator of our path, it is ours exclusively – we are our path. Even in cases where the decision is painful, we make the determination of how we will incorporate that into our journey. It remains our unique path, we are our path. The only other choice is to end the journey.

    1. Hi Linda. Happy New Year! As my dad said in his plain wisdom, “no matter where you go, there you are”. Life is not happening to us, we choose it, we are the authors of our life. Even things that are painful. We ultimately choose how we incorporate that into our journey – or we choose to end the journey, but still our choice.

  8. Your last two lines evoke William Ernest Henley’s “I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul.”

    I like the tempo of your poem… It brings silence and recollection.

  9. I prefer I think the person who knows they are confused to the person who has never recognized that they are. How else can we collect ourselves if we think we have never been lost? So your 4th stanza really stands out to me.

    1. We are all making our way everyday Lona. None of us knows moment to moment what we may confront, so from that perspective, we are all some degree of “lost”. Some days more than others. As long as we all adjust for our true “north” when necessary, we are fine. Glad you found something for yourself in this piece…

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