After The Rain

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”After the Rain” by: Cyril Rolando
 
After the Rain

~

you hit like a downpour
a thunderstorm of love
your kisses hot as lightning
striking from above

your passion was a tempest
I was swept up in its force
but now the winds have died
this storm has run its course

your moods now chilled and cloudy
no warmth after the rain
my heart puddles in sadness
this bad weather’s bringing pain

the fair winds may return
as might the clear blue skies
but my heart will ever yearn
to see the sun rise in your eyes

~ ~ ~

rob kistner © 2019

 

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  • Wordless

    This was not a moment in my life when I was speechless, searching for the right words. I had no awareness of words, nor even of language. I was suddenly completely untethered, falling through a frigid void, with a building primal scream, roaring through my soul, fighting to escape.
     

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    Wordless

    ~

    I still remember
    when I got the strange hollow call
    informing me my son had been killed

    the disembodied voice on the other end
    asked into the silence that followed
    “sir, are you there?”

    all that finally came forth
    emanating from the pit of my being
    was a coarse choking guttural wail
    like the keening of a wild animal

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    ~ ~ ~

    rob kistner © 2019

     

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  • Day Breaker

    “stream-of-consciousness rant”

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    ”Drinkin’ Thinkin’” by: rob kistner © 1997

     
    DayBreaker

    (hard-drinkin’, jazz-lovin’, workin’ man’s lament)
    ~

    day breaks
    on
    a new week’s
    sun

    putrid
    as the stains
    on my
    flesh-soaked
    mattress

    damp
    as my sour
    mat
    of fevered
    greasy
    tangle

    hot
    as my
    whiskey-foul
    breath

    another
    un-commuted
    sentence

    6A-6P
    ’til
    merciful dusk
    delivers me

    jack-knifed
    into
    my
    jack and coke

    don’t obsess
    in sorrow

    drown
    all
    ‘da-way
    down

    a bottom-dive
    to comatose

    no virtue
    feigned
    nor
    implied

    mad goes
    the struggle
    ‘til
    saved by
    jazz
    48 over
    ‘da
    dub-ya
    hump

    2
    debauched
    24’s
    then
    the hissing
    sting
    of monday
    and
    the mindless
    6-6 grind
    120 n’out

    cruel numbers
    game
    goes
    round round
    and ever round
    ’til
    the tombstone’s
    tender
    solace

    ~ ~ ~

    rob kistner © 2019

     

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    Imitation Practice

  • I’ve Had It!

    Modified Tennyson imitation — nine lines with a rhyme pattern AABBCCCCC, and using four trochees per line, with a touch of surrealistic humor.

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    I’ve Had It!

    ~

    don’t just stand there looking lazy
    while this bunny thumps like crazy
    help me fry it golden brownish
    stuffing it in uncle’s sandwich
    never liked that purple rabbit
    acted poorly — now I’ve had it
    sang off key each time I’d pet it
    stole my shoes and uncle let it
    now it’s lunch — and uncle ‘et‘ it

    ~ ~ ~

    rob kistner © 2019

     

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    Imitation Practice

  • Drifting Dreaming

    SURREALISM: Pure psychic automatism by which it is intended to express, either verbally or in writing, the true function of thought. Thought dictated in the absence of all control exerted by reason…

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    Drifting Dreaming

    ~

    I read minds
    but pieces of me
    stick to whomever
    I deep delve

    you may have seen me
    silhouetted against your sky
    in coldest January
    howling
    with the frozen moon

    a duet
    to make coyotes
    cower in their dens

    then moon and I run
    from room to imaginary room
    your whole world
    close enough to touch

    we eat a midnight lunch
    perfumed with foreign lands
    and your thoughts
    onion layered

    your thoughts
    are too heavy to hold
    show mercy
    peel back the layers

    peel me away
    thin by thin
    skin by skin
    to my quivering soul

    my thoughts

    bonewhite lies
    of morality plays
    open for you to see

    hope they’re not hideous
    in your sight

    hope they do not
    make you cry
    as you peel back
    all the layers

    onioned thought layers
    held firm
    like a carapace
    to which
    I’m stitched
    and welded
    and can no more leave
    than you can enter

    they tie me down
    sometimes
    but sometimes
    barely so
    survivor that I am

    the inescapable optimism
    in my barebones grin
    flashes
    in the brittle moonlight
    exposing forgotten creases
    and clandestine gateways
    to your mind

    someone can learn
    a thing or two tonight
    if someone
    will ignite the light

    ~ ~ ~

    rob kistner © 2019

     

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  • Bewildered Boy

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    Bewildered Boy
    ~

    born in dead of winter
    under a darkling moon
    at the waning of hearts

    a bewildered boy-child
    conceived in chaos
    lacking heritage

    moment man
    in freefall of frustration
    searching for foothold

    abandoned nomad
    longing for clarity
    for a sense of identity

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    Moon on 2/18/47, my birth night.

    ~ ~ ~

    rob kistner © 2019

    NOTE: I was born in 1947 in a post WWll Catholic orphanage. Mother unidentified and likely unwed. Father unknown. Having been abandoned from birth was a matter of much confusion for me in my troubled childhood, and into my young adult life. With the birth of my children I stopped looking back, and started looking ahead, finally understanding of, and thankful for the support of my adoptive parents.

     

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    Thankfulness . . .

  • December Passion

    winter-night

     
    December Passion
    ~

    It’s quiet in our home. Darkness has fallen early, as it does in deepest December. We cozy into the comforter, warm across our lap, gazing out our window at the moonlit forest. The fire quiets to ember in the nearby hearth.

    Midnight’s snowfall shimmers through the boughs of old growth, invitingly elegant. As if spread by star clusters, it blankets our high-mountain meadow in crystal down. This night lay quiet and crisp. A great white owl echoes through the frosted cedars.

    Lover and beloved, we entwine ‘neath winter’s window, with our dreams, and one another. You enfold closer, in gentle snuggle, a peaceful smile upon your face.

    I’m remembering another resplendent December night. You, warm in my arms, the night we first kissed, embraced in darkness. Softly I whisper, “if it’s darkness we’re having, let it be extravagant, as is our passion, my love.”

    ~ ~ ~

    rob kistner © 2019

     

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  • February Rain

    “Original version of this poem posted here on October 25th as “Come February”. It was in the 1st person. Rewriting this one in 3rd person, from my perspective, shifts the essence from feeling personally sad to feeling empathy for another.”

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    February Rain
    ~

    here he is
    wishing wishes
    for those days
    when life made sense
    thinking thoughts
    that tear at him
    for the things
    he failed to be

    how he does desire
    the damp dreary days
    of february
    when his forlorned
    fallen face
    is commonplace

    when no one intrudes
    to question
    what’s the matter
    when they see
    the tears he cries
    there come no why’s

    because all around
    are caught up in the blues

    oh if only
    she could find it
    in her heart

    to forgive
    this sadly lost
    and broken man

    who much too late
    understands
    he was a fool

    and in his sorrow
    understands
    love will not stir

    but how he wishes
    ill-tempered weather
    would occur

    to drive the joyful
    all around him
    to indoor spaces

    so he’d be spared
    the pain
    of smiling faces

    and the bitter
    bitter memory
    of losing her

    ~ ~ ~

    rob kistner © 2019

     

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  • Wild Heart

    “Originally written about a proud wild beast, I changed the perspective to being the beast. That change made the poem empowering for me, rather than just powerful.”


     

    No — I will not be confined
    always in motion
    restless is my spirit
    perpetual like the seas

    my wild heart
    challenges constraint
    defies boundary
    to bolt at will

    I will not be defined
    my nature is fluid
    my essence turbulent
    deep — ever changing

    reach not for me
    I will not be held
    do not name me
    I will not be yours

    *
    rob kistner © 2022

    Poetry at: Earthweal

     


    Crows of Castle Keep

    “Castle Keep is my metaphor for the mind.”

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    Crows of Castle Keep

    my contemplation on dementia

    ~

    my memories gather and squabble
    like the crows of castle keep
    they pick the bones
    of my recall

    bones against the cruel clay
    of an arid
    barren mind

    littered with the harsh forgotten
    like the bones of the dinosaur
    I’m becoming

    struggling
    with what letters are made of
    my words crack and crumble

    my thoughts
    parch and wither

    lonely silhouettes
    against an unforgiving skyline

    fading visions of my past
    of my life
    my home
    of yesterday

    harder and harder to remember
    the degrees of separation
    growing ever greater
    smoldering in the fog
    of my reflected past

    splashes of vivid color
    on scraps of paper
    blown in the mounting winds
    of my confusion

    dread rising
    that I will soon not remember
    what it all meant to me
    a stirring fear I will forget
    lost in tormented emptiness
    that all will go black

    this is not just a poem
    it is much more

    this is a light
    searching in blackness
    for familiar things
    for persons beloved
    that I do not recognize

    this is a fractured tome
    a cry of frustration
    a tear of loss
    a whispered prayer

    an epitaph
    to my fading map of then

    of cherished memories
    that now falter
    and dim

    slowly slipping
    unintelligible
    into the cacophony
    of the crows of castle keep


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    ~ ~ ~

    rob kistner © 2019

     

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  • The Secret

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    photo collage: “The Secret” — by: rob kistner © 1997

     
    The Secret

    ~

    from the dawn of awareness
    through the dark times
    beyond the ages of change
    into these times

    they have kept it
    the keepers of the secret

    and now
    with great fortitude of will
    to safequard frail truth
    they must keep it still

    ~ ~ ~

    rob kistner © 2019


     

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    Quadrille #91 – Keep

  • Falling To Pieces

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    ”I can’t see the end of me” by: Oladios

     
    Falling To Pieces

    ~

    oh dear
    I fear
    I have lost my heart

    and along with it
    a larger part

    if I do not panic
    but stay calm
    instead
    being careful
    not to lose my head

    if I can
    look to the future
    avoid the dread

    it’s not hard to conceive
    kitty I truly believe

    though parts of me
    have certainly
    lost a bit
    of fleshy tether

    eventually
    with what’s left
    of me
    I can finally

    pull myself together

    ~ ~ ~

    rob kistner © 2019

     

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  • In A Rut

    “Troubled chatter among the reindeer.”

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    ”Autumn Breath” by: Jason Limberg

     

    In A Rut

    ~

    The past few Christmas seasons there’s been evidence of some unhappy reindeer. Jolly old St. Nick’s been hittin’ the rich creamy egg nog hard. This was overheard at reindeer preseason camp.

    dude’s gettin’ fatter
    tired’a draggin’ his lard ass
    fool should get a truck
    we could then spend Christmas Eve
    ruttin’ with some smokin’ cows

    ~ ~ ~

    rob kistner © 2019

     

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  • Savior

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    Savior

    ~

    I remember when it happened
    remember well
    the blinding flash
    that sent me scurrying
    underground
    into my private bunker

    I suspected this possibility
    thankfully
    I was prepared for the moment

    that moment
    that horrific moment
    forever dividing then
    from now

    then
    comfortably alone
    walking my property line
    along the azure waters
    of the clear mountain stream
    that rolled towards me
    crisp and pure

    then
    in an instant
    the startling sound
    the strange light
    soaring above the douglas firs
    that stand proudly
    at the river’s edge

    sentries for centuries
    protecting this northern boundary
    of my lands

    steady
    enduring
    supple in the winds
    that waft and quicken
    breathing life
    whispering their secrets

    now
    two years on
    since that ominous moment
    the bone chill
    the penetrating feeling
    of fear

    now
    I am alone again
    but now
    quite absolutely

    no evidence of survivors
    my beloved wife
    did not make it

    the global communication grid
    totally destroyed

    too long
    since I have seen
    another’s eyes
    or heard another’s voice

    now
    I ramble this valley
    wade this stream
    in my hazmat suit
    mumbling quietly
    to no one

    rations are running out
    water
    food

    I am at the ragged edge
    of coherence
    of sanity

    I cling to the hope
    for a sign of life
    someday
    any life

    but they are all gone
    every — last — one
    gone

    can I last
    have I that patience

    how long can I hold center
    how long
    until my fragile psyche unravels

    if I could just remove this helmet
    breathe fresh air again
    feel the breeze on my face

    while the trees are fine
    carcasses are everywhere
    animals
    fish
    birds
    insects

    I fear the air is toxic
    deadly

    will it ever be safe
    how can I know

    wait
    what’s this

    “Hey, hi little fella!”

    ~ ~ ~

    rob kistner © 2019

     

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