Just Gone
~
No warning, they were just gone. We were left to wonder, “what’s going on.” The entire family strangely disappeared, no clue what happened. Truly very weird.
Taken in an instant, to where, we may never know. Midst this kitchen clutter, it all abruptly ended. Was their mortal life forfeit, or was time within these walls, ominously suspended?
“Highly suspicious”, thought the detective. “People don’t simply vanish.” So he began an intensive investigation. Searched each room, the attic, the garage outside — he searched it all. Lastly even the hollow of the cookstove wall.
Finally he concluded, “there is nothing behind the wall, except a space where the wind whistles.” Yet, muffled by that wind, come inaudible cries — there is no doubt. “Oh please! Please hear our bloody fingers, scratching to get out!”
rob kistner © 2020
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You went all Poe on us, brother–way to rock the prompt. You use dialogue well. This had a lovely macabre flair to it. At first I thought alien abduction, then a witch’s curse.
Perhaps a dimensional time slip trapped them in a different wall, in an alternate universe?
Ooooooo! Spooky! I think that detective better be very careful.
Frankly, I wouldn’t set foot back in that house… 😉
Yep. Nothin to see here, boys; let’s move on.
Cool use of prompt, RK
Thank you Ron. Couldn’t get Poe outta my mind on this one.
Well this gave me goosebumps! Good write.
Thank you Bev… 🙂
YES. The ending is so satisfying as a horror tale. At first, I thought this was a mystery, but you turned it all around at the final point. That is terrifying, especially with the common theme of being trapped or buried alive as described in the Horror King’s short stories. Nicely written, Edgar Rob Poe.
Thank you Lucy. Being copletely honest, I wasn’t certain how this would end — until I got there… 🙂
Great tale, Rob! I love the way we follow the detective around as he contemplates the mysterious disappearance and the macabre twist at the end. If only the detective had read his Poe!
…or had psychic hearing… 🙂
Oh dear, I was *not* expecting those poor people to be trapped in the wall! Scary thought! Poe would be honored to hear your tale 🙂
Thank you Lia… 🙂 …it was a quick take, but I am satisfied with it.
Spooky. Inaudible cries says to me ghosts… restless forever
Perhaps ghost kidnappers… 🙂
OMG you rocked this one Rob.
Happy you dropped by to read mine
Much????love
Thank you Gillena… 🙂
A horror story! so concisely rendered. Well done.
Thank you Kerfe… 🙂
an eerie tale well told … thought halloween was over!
Yes Kate, but horror never rests… 😉
I could imagine you reading this in the dark with a torch beneath your chin – and at that final chilling line – click. (And all those unanswered questions too – wonderful stuff).
What a wonderful comment Peter! So cool… 🙂 Used to love to do that on campouts.
Creepy, Rob – with a touch of Poe in there! A Mary-Celeste-like mystery, deliciously dark.
Truth is stranger than fiction Ingrid, and there is more to the world than meets the eye. These colloquialism exist for a reason.
I love the way you channeled your inner Poe, Rob, with a detective too! It also reminded me a little of a film I watched years ago, but I can’t think of the title. Such a scary thought, someone or something living in the walls. Saying that, I recently watched an episode of True Horror, in which the ghost a dead father pulled one of his grandchildren into the wall cavity. I love the way you express the suddenness of the family’s disappearance ‘Midst this kitchen clutter’ and the thought of ‘time within these walls, ominously suspended’ building up to ‘audible cries’.
Was feeling gothic Kim, pleased you liked it… 🙂
inaudible cries — there is no doubt.
“Oh please! Please hear our bloody fingers,
scratching to get out!”
You keep us wondering with the close, Rob, perfect mystery, really the wind or trapped voices! Spooky within just a few sentences. Great!
Hank
Thank you Hank…! 🙂 It is hard to bury a “shock” ending in only 144 words — but I gave it a shot. I am pleased you found it worked for you.
This reminds me of the Spanish film, La Cora Oculta. A thoroughly fascinating prose piece, Rob 🙂
Thank you Sanaa. I envisioned it as a tome-travel, horror, supernatural piece.
This reminds me of a gruesome case we had here a few years ago. Father gets the four kids back from school for a get-together, entire family disappears. Somebody thought to look under the new cement patio. All of them are there except the father.
What you describe Jane is a horror similar to that which occurred in Oregon City, OR, in 2002, just a few miles from where I lived with my family, in the Cascade Mountain foothills. It was perpetrated by Ward Weaver III. I don’t want to go into detail, but if you are interested, you can find them in Wikipedia under his name.
Ooooh, creepy one Rob.
It was a cathartic write, symbolizing the wall of evil, in which Trump had trapped the United States. We are now, bloodied by years of digging out, hoping Biden hears our cries, and sets us free. …nah, probably not.
Oh, this was so chilling… I wonder if they have been buried alive somewhere.
Perhaps the victims of horror at the hands of some vile person/thing from an alternate universe, that had pierced the veil of time, and dragged them to their doom?
OOH! Quite creepy, Rob!
Just gettin’ my macabre juices flowin’ Sara. 🙂