Seeking Forgiveness

…this is a poem about the horror and ethical dilemma that is war, and the devastating impact it has on many soldiers…

 

Seeking Forgiveness

•

my eyes

crisp red from the scalding sun
from devastation’s fires
from cruel vision of relentless horror
scorched by vicious exposure of sentenced gaze

take refuge in this heavy late evening dew
thick with munitions soot
settling like a shroud
lubricious
opaque
obscuring

I am sustained by this damp cool pall
that descends upon me
wraps ‘round my pained countenance
fevered with fatigue
deafened by weapon’s roar
crippled with despair

driven by faint memory of honor
of duty
of human dignity
I stumble
broken by this sin I shoulder
this perversion
not of my making
but of my charge

my sin

conceived and unleashed
by those who would impose their will
their twisted utopian vision
who would advance their agenda of domination
those who would take it all
wear the conqueror’s crown
who would rule the world

a world now broken
corrupted by their vision
spoiled by their vanity
a world in chaos

I have but this bloodied ruin-riddled highway
of deepening nocturne
of dying dreams
crushed innocence
destruction
death
decay

of my duplicity
of my guilt

my shame

fear not for the future
weep not for the past
…impossible

and so I stumble on
muttering mea culpa
saturated with this falling evening
with this drenching sorrow
slinking in exhausted alert
nerves shattered as eggshells
numb to panic

hollow
empty
into this coming night

and the next night
and the night that follows
that always follows

captive on this road of murder
of mounting evil
of brutal human arrogance
prisoner of this lost highway

seeking forgiveness

• • •

rob kistner © 2010

…inspired by the readwritepoem prompt #114, prompt #202 on Sunday Scribblings, and prompt #40 on Carry On Tuesday, I edited and rewrote two separate poems I originally wrote in 2007/2008 – and blended them together into a new single work…

 

•> click HERE to read The Failure of Architecture, a poem I wrote about the ethical dilemma of the corporate world <•

11 thoughts on “Seeking Forgiveness”

  1. This devestation – of war – of “sins” – is the burden that we all carry.

    “broken by this sin I shoulder
    this perversion
    not of my making
    but of my charge”

    beautifully written Rob.

  2. This poem is devastatingly beautiful. The way you layer each detail propelled me as a reader even as it weighed me down with the guilt you articulate. Thank you.

  3. Funny how we dip into common rivers in the collective consciousness. The speaker in my poem also keeps seeking forgiveness and absolutely.

    Some very beautiful and vivid language in this piece, Rob. How well you evoke both the horrors of war and the horrors behind war. Well done this week.

    -Nicole

  4. Thank you for sharing this. Complex yet a simple thread, and well stated how participation impacts those who survive. While the images are certainly dire, the delivery allows for them to be received more for understanding than merely “reaction”. Well done.

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