S ara
Sara
Sara — stop
Sara!
please Sara
stop
Sara
look at me
Sara please
please listen
I’m sorry
I can still hear him
didn’t need to listen
I already knew
already knew
what love sounded like
when it lied
when it cried
when it died
when it died
when love died
it sounded like him
my lost trust sounded like him
my broken heart sounded like him
my lost years sounded like him
my worst fears sounded like him
so I just kept walking
put my head down
kept walking
never looked back
never going back
no
never going back
never again
never
never
not ever
*
rob kistner © 2021
Poetry at: dVerse
National Domestic Violence 24-hr Hotline 1-800-799-7233
Very effective use of repetition, Rob! The stories of broken hearts and loss of trust must often sound similar–and trigger memories, too.
Story as old as time Merril. Like an old country song! 🙂 just wanted to create a peak moment of emotion via monologue — his emotion of panic/frustration. Then I wanted to look at her moment of disillusionment, her emotion of disappointment/anger. Playing with contrast.
Preoccupied with other stuff at present, Rob, so I’m skipping the prompt this time around but wanted to let you know I’m out here, awestruck at your MASTERFUL work.
Edgy work, man.
Thank you Ron! I always wonder on ‘ya at poe-tree time. Glad your still out there on the borderline, protecting us from da’ cra-cra Cana-na’s — eh!
I think you fully understood the prompt, and wrote a successful version; very nice word play, and dispite the brevity, the results shine.
Thank you Glenn… 🙂 I have been in a minimalist mindset lately — seem to currently bring affixed to dialog.
Such power in your repitition!
Thank you Candy
Wonderfully done Rob. Your poem and the songs that reinforce everything you have written!
Thank Dwight, you are gracious sir, as always! 🙂
Fleetwood Mac….yeah!
My attitude about this piece changed Lynn, after I had time to truly read what I had written. My muse took me much deeper than I realized. Now it’s Christina Aguilera.
WOW!
Yes, Lucy — wow. Anyone caught in this cycle, get help — end it now.
Felt like I was in a Quintin Tarantino movie, with that opening.
This has all the character that I’ve come know your work for.
Slick.
Quintin — I’m humbled… thank you Darius.
an emotional story here, Rob. The Sara that came on my mind first was the song by Toto. The heartbreak and broken trusts are well described here.
Thank you RoseMarie…!
I like how both speakers repeat – like singing to each other contrapuntal
Like an inevitable collision!
You had me thinking of Bob Dylan’s Sara here, though apparently there are many more, looking at the comments. In his song, the heartache comes through in the repetition, as it does in yours.
Drivin’ the point home, Ingrid.
The emotion is palpable in your words.
Glad this resonated for you Kerfe!
I can see this as a short film or animation.
Certainly think it could be a scene in a dark production Xan.
You aced this (tricky) challenge, Rob!
Thank you Helen! 🙂
Rob,
The repetitions work so perfectly here. Heart-achingly perfect.
~????Dora
Thank you Dpra… 🙂
Any story of a broken heart has its own way of repeating… love how you used it so effectively in the different stanzas.
Thank you Bjorn, I appreciate your kind words… 🙂
very radio ~
Loved radio dramas, so thank you sir!