E ating grapefruit is quite dangerous
‘cause the juicy things fight back
if you stab it best be careful
better give it your best try
‘cause carelessness will likely get you
a stinging squirt in your left eye
or depending on how your squinting
it just might be the right tonight
see ‘ya gotta keep least one eye open
cause that grapefruit spork is hard to steer
and whether left eye or the right
that nasty squirt will bring a tear
and if when you eat a grapefruit half
you sprinkle salt upon it first
know a salty juicy eye-squirt
absolutely is the worst
so if you plan on eatin’ grapefruit
perhaos some grapefruit eatin’ classes
or better yet — don’t spend big money
just get yourself some cheap sunglasses
*
rob kistner © 2021
Poetry at: dVerse
Just eat it like an orange and save yourself the pain 😉
Oh, but it is so much more exciting to do combat with it… 🙂
Fun poem. I really enjoyed this. It’s been a while since I wrestled with a grapefruit half like this, but I have had this experience. 🙂
Glad you enjoyed it Susan…:)
I cut it into segments like a half-time orange now! In fact, there’s one in the fruitbowl and I think you might just have decided on breakfast for me! Lots of fun.
Bon ap·pé·tit Sarah! 🙂
Ouch! I felt the sting of this one, especially when you added salt…
My dad loved salt on his citrus Ingrid, and his watermelon — claimed ironically, that it “brought out the sweetness” ?
Well, now I know why that guy wears his sunglasses at… breakfast.
Safety first, but adventure is best! 🙂
This made me laugh – it happened to me when I was still able to eat grapefruit – I can’t now, due to my medication – although I never squirted myself in the eye, only other people! Thanks so much for the blast of ZZ Top!
My pleasure Kim! Sorry about losing access to grapefruit… 🙁
haha. this gave some needed laugh, Rob! thank you for the tip!
No problem RoseMarie… 🙂
Lol! Who hasn’t had this happen? And I love the ZZ Top reference
The dangers of breakfast Eric, and you are welcome for ZZ.
This is so funny!!! I love it. 🙂
“Orbisculated”—what a fabulous word
The word was apparently birthed here in Washington state as a family slang? I found it fun to pronounce Shawna… 🙂
Ha! Grapefruit-even it’s name is misleading. Fun poem.
K, I agree — they are a cantankerous fruit. 🙂
Love it
😉
I love this! We used to have special serrated grapefruit knives and pointy spoons, but nothing ever stopped the squirting!
Yes Denise — Those small grapefruit spoons with teeth were what I referred to as “sporks”… 🙂
Ha… better be careful with those… (such a long time since I ate it with a spoon)
Dangerous lil’tool Bjorn. Those small grapefruit spoons, with teeth, were what I referred to in this piece as “sporks”… ????
Great rhyme and imagery, Rob! And of course, advice 🙂
Thank you Sunra.
Could this be more refreshingly delightful??? A resounding no.
Here’s squintin’ at ya.
😉
Lol! 😀
Grapefruit should be reserved for self-flagellation. Or marmalade.
It is a masochistic fruit Kate! 🙂
Forewarned is forearmed.
Indeed Sean… 😉
Love the humour you related to some unintended happenings of having a grapefruit. You always have a pleasant twist in your writes, Rob!
Hank
Thanks Hank! 🙂 It’s ‘cause I gotsa’ bita’ twist in me brain… 😉
Love the reference to cheap sunglasses!
🙂