That’s Stretching It!

As this is Thanksgiving Day in America, the undeclared celebration of overeating, thought I’d respond in kind to today’s dVerse prompt, from Grace, that we compose a Quintain. I have stacked two Quintains, in the spirit of a limerick. By definition, a humorous, frequently bawdy or tasteless verse, often of three long and two short lines rhyming aabba, popularized by Edward Lear.

YOU WERE WARNED! This is tasteless humor, but not meant to offend large individuals, as I am myself, but rather to suggest to folks like myself, to exhibit some dignity, and not go parading around in public in Spandex. As you can see from my friend pictured here – it is certainly not flattering.

surplus

 
That’s Stretching It!

~

it’s amazing what spandex can bind
no matter how huge the behind
they mash and they they jam it in
they grunt and they cram it in
it’s enough to make you want to go blind

then they stuff in their gigantic belly
looks just like a balloon full of jelly
then off they do waddle
thinkin’ they look like some model
to buy chocolate ice cream at the deli

~ ~ ~

rob kistner © 2018

Poetry form: English & Spanish Quintain

12 thoughts on “That’s Stretching It!”

  1. Just tellin’ it like it is. I don’t hold with this refusal to call fat fat. When there are millions starving, you should assume responsibility for your over-eating habits.

  2. I had to go on a diet for health reasons and I picked the one in Gundry’s “The Plant Paradox”. It worked. (That is, I think it worked or something else did.) As a side effect I am now 155 pounds (5 feet 11 inches) from 190+. I am not sure how high the “+” went because I didn’t pay attention to my weight prior to that.

    I didn’t think I was “a balloon full of jelly” as you described it, but looking at old photos, I can see (or I am willing to see) the balloon now.

    1. Hey, congratulations Frank! Well done!! I have diabetes and heart failure, with a pacemaker implanted. I am 285 lbs at 6’2″, so I am always watching my weight. I am watching it so closely it can’t get away… wish the hell it would. At 71, dieting is near impossible, but I have good intentions…

  3. Certainly you have to admire them for bravery looking like that… but on the other hand, maybe they will improve over time…. 🙂

  4. Spandex or overflowing can only hide so much. We need to control our food intake or get that full of jelly belly. My strategy aside from being careful with my food is having fitting clothes, so I need to always fit into my clothes, smiles.

  5. My point exactly Grace. I am a big man, but I have the personal pride and the consideration for others, to dress with dignity. The world is full of enough visual pollution, I don’t need to contribute more… 🙂

  6. If 1% f the population were obese, that would be a personal responsibility issue. At the rates of bestie we have in the west, there’s a public health aspect that shouldn’t be ignored. I’m not saying people shouldn’t take personal responsibility, I’m just saying we are up against massive companies that want to sell us fat and sugar, and it’s hard. Quite a political response to a biting set of limericks, I know.

    1. You are correct in your overall perspective on the issue, Sarah. We need to be respondible, but there are a plethora of food options, both fast food drive-thrus and on grocery shelves, that are simply unhealthy. Both personal responsibility and manufacturer/suppliers responsibilities need to improve significantly.

  7. Well, you did warn us, Rob. 🙂

    I go to the gym nearly every day in an attempt to help keep my weight under control. Some people there may not look great in their workout clothes, but I admire them for being there and trying.
    Obesity is a complex issue. . .I’ll just leave it at that.

    1. It is acomplex issue. With congestive heart failure, a pacemaker, and diabetes – I battle it all the time. In work out clothes while working out is to be commended – but walking down the street looking like a stuffed sausage… sorry Merril, that’s just wrong…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *