I want us to be naked
backlit by the golden sun
our bodies radiantly naked
in the soft grass of a mountain meadow
frolicking with you naked
running silvery in a cool spring rain
slick and slippery naked
in the riotous colors of a flower garden
our lips petal plushed and naked
lying in the rolling summer surf
waves breaking upon us naked
walking in an ancient forest deep
awed, spellbound and naked
smiling on a crisp autumn morn
leaves falling ‘round us, naked
curled in sweet peaceful sleep
both breathing gently, naked
in the copper glow of desert redrock
our wild spirits naked
in the frothy roar of a waterfall
standing in the cascade naked
in the wafting of a gentle breeze
we dance and whirl ‘round naked
silhouetted against a sterling moon
our skin a satin sheen and naked
with our secreted souls laid bare
fully exposed and naked
all our dreams and fears revealed
hearts trembling and naked
our every pretense stripped away
finally truly naked
enfolded here in each other’s arms
both vulnerable and naked
we gaze into the vast night sky
we marvel, breathtaken — and naked
I’ll rob the stars from that night sky
to twinkle in your eyes so naked
rob kistner © 2019
Hi! I’m Edgrrr, rob’s shih tzu.
Poetry form: Ghazal
Sensual and beautiful. A lovely Ghazal.
Thank you Vivian! 🙂
yes…this is quite a good ghazal. The repetition throughout gives nuance and added meanings to the rhyme word. Not only becoming disrobed, but becoming honest, vulnerable, trusting, and giving. That is the essence of a love poem. The ghazal also historically speaks to lost love, star-crossed, incompatible, rejected, and heartbroken, or life lost and family gone while set adrift on a sea of regret. Thanks for relinking. I enjoyed this very much.
I am so pleased this piece worked for you Gay. I was most uncertain how to approach the form. In truth, after reading a couple of the postec offerings, I went back and completely rewrotd my initial piece. The concept was the same, but I reimagined each second line of the couplets. Being one who revels in the freedom of open verse, I will say, I feel I could come to enjot the ghazal. It has an openess a freedom, and it allows for boldness. Thank you for introducing this form today Gay! 🙂
A stunningly sensual ghazal, Rob, that shifts in tone from excited to vulnerable. I like all the ways to be naked, especially those ‘lips petal plushed’, and:
‘curled in sweet peaceful sleep
both breathing gently, naked’.
Thank you so much for visiting Kim, and making such a truly gracious comment. See, it isn’t lewd, it’s a love poem. I am glad you enjoyed it. Tell your friends to come see rob and his naked love poem… 🙂
in the frothy roar of a waterfall
standing in the cascade naked
all our dreams and fears revealed
hearts trembling and naked
our every pretense stripped away
finally truly naked
Vulnerability has never been explained better than this.
I am so pleased you liked this Reena. I think the title “Naked” may have frightened people away. But I think when you read all the different, joyous meanings of naked — it was the perfect word, and the very best possible title. Thsnk you for visiting Reena!
A beautiful remark to the nakedness of us and all the things that bring us pleasure — there is a certain vulnerability in all these sensual images, open to love and loving. The “naked” becomes a chant in this gentle ghazal. 🙂
I chose the “naked” as a focus for the love, beauty, joy, honesty, trust, and dedication that was the true gist of this poem. Good on you for recognizing its heart Anmol, and thank you!
I really enjoyed the move from being physically naked to spiritually and emotionally naked. It’s a gradual progression that works really well.
Thank you for reading Sarah. I think the title may have frightened some readers away, but I am pleased this poem resonated for you. I chose the “naked” as a bold statement of freedom and vulnerability. It was love, beauty, joy, honesty, trust, and dedication that was the true gist of this poem.
Epic sensuality, with couplets to spare; like me you can spin off a dozen once the creativity is tapped. Yours is, my favorite Ghazal so far. Naked as a refrain, especially when read aloud, seems perfect, gentle, truthful.I really dug how you worked with the form.
Thank you Glenn! I had a few false starts before this one revealed itself to me. I love naked as the refrain – it means so very much more than just nude. Glad you dug it dude… 🙂
I love how you embrace the nakedness in all its aspects and the way you used your name in the last couplet, and when even the nakedness fades for the sky.
Thank you Björn. Naked means so very much more than merely nude. Gay challenged us to get our name in their somehow. I went through a number of possible uses of rob before settling where I ended.
“in the riotous colors of a flower garden
our lips petal plushed and naked”
Just one couplet of many that touched me. Love your use of rob, and of course I adore Edgrrr!
Thank you Sara! The picture I am identifying as Edgrrr on my posts is not Edgrrr himself. I found that adorable photo online, and thought it was fantastic! But it looks exactly like my Edgrrr, and he hangs his tongue out frequenly when he is sitting, resting. He has what I call the “palomino” shih tzu coloring – and the identical face. 🙂
Rob I see your many forms of naked as examples of intimacy, as when they are shared it is.
Yes Jade, they are presented in the spirit of intimacy, joy, and ultimately – love. I am pleased that resonated for you.
I read your amended poem. It is stronger with the changes and added couplets. I think this is radiant and has no hint of vulgarity..one’s heart and soul laid bare is a truly remarkable, freeing experience and sits at the apex of both love and passion.
Thanks for the re-write!
You are welcome Gay. I am glad this worked for you. It was celebrating all the meanings of naked that go way beyond just nude.
I admire the progression of naked word, until it concludes to being vulnerable and embracing love. Also like how you included your name in the ending couplet.
Thank you Grace! Gay challenged us to work our name end, so… 🙂
So sensual, beautifully crafted. I needed water.
Thank you Paul! Please, have a drink on me… 🙂
I really like this, Rob. I like how you move from naked bodies to other meanings of naked–being vulnerable and open. It’s sensual and joyful, and even a bit playful, like lovers.
Thank you Merril, I am very pleased you found and felt the more profound essences of “naked”. It is so very much more than just narrowness of nude.
Rob, this is one of your best poems ever> You met this challenge and conquered it. This is so sensual and delightful.
Thank you Linda, very much. I am so pleased it resonated with you. It took me a couple lazy starts, but inspiration finally was kind. I am pleased with the final result, and now find the form interesting. Gay is an excellent host!
Wow…like Adam & Eve back in the garden and it was very good!
Naked, free, honest, joyful, and sensuous – fully alive and connected, body, soul, mind, and spirit… it’s wonderful Lynn!!! 🙂
A beautiful ghazal and joyously tender love poem, ranging from physical to emotional nakedness. I don’t know why you are worried about the title being misconstrued. In my experience, few poets are puritanical.
Thank you Rosemary, I am glad this resonated for you. A couple negative comments in the first few hours after I posted, which I deleted, made me question my choice of title. The comments turned out not to be legitimate. Apparently some jerks who were Googling the word naked. They ended up in my spam so I just got rid of them.
Beautifully done, Rob…particularly liked the way you sneaked your name in, in the last couplet!
Thank you Jim, very much. I am glad you liked this. Gay encouraged us to get our names in the ladt couplet – so…
I like the integration of human love into the beauty of nature. And it flows seamlessly.
To be truly naked in life has only a smsll part to do with being nude Kerfe. Honesty, openness, vulnerability all have more to do with true nakedness.
Love your romantic romp through your poem, Rob! Naked!!
Thanks Dwight.