Vividly
I remember
I remember when it happened
remember well
the all-defining fire mark in time
that forever divided then
from now
the moment of the horrific pronouncement
when all the world’s atmospheric agencies
and all the world’s environmental agencies
and the world governments
unequivocally agreed
…the earth has passed the tipping point
soon this planet
will no longer support human life
no more monies will be spent
in this undeniably failing effort
to keep earth habitable
for our human species
now all funds will go
towards a massive plan to escape
in order that our species might survive…
fuuuck! we are such stupid assholes!
we finally did it!
you know — with our human track record
no plan is going to help us survive — ourselves
feels like a damned expensive, fruitless waste
couldn’t shake those angry thoughts back then
when first I heard the disheartening news
truth be told
I was very angry — but not totally shocked
and I am still not certain we understand
what it will take to ever survive
perhaps our journey from the atomic age
through the nuclear age
into our current digital age
has sent our human species
irretrievably off the rails
but nothing I can do about it
I now just spend my time alone
walking up along this forested valley
that is our southern property line
my eyes drifting up the crystal waters
of the clear mountain stream
that rolls towards me
crisp and pure
I then cast my eyes upwards
to the very tops
of the powerful Douglas Firs
and the elegant Western Cedar
as I pass slowly by
they stand proud
at the river’s edge
sentries for centuries
protecting this boundary of our lands
steady and enduring
yet always supple in the winds
that waft and quicken
whispering the breath of life
into this pristine realm
as I walk
my tears glisten
we are such damned fools
we have finally done it
two years on now
since that ominous
worldwide news conference
but I never can forget
the chill in my bones
that penetrating feeling
in those mind-numbing moments
when I realized
it’s over
global panic has since ensued
cities worldwide are collapsing
humans gone insane
ugliness I do not wish to witness
so I remain isolated
isolated with my memories
random memories
like the beauty of an opening rose
or the wonder of an unfurling frond
or the tart-sweet scent
of mighty conifer giants
thrusting ever skyward
or the magic
of a budding branch
of how my spirit
is soothed by wind and water
thrilled by the song of birds
or the swoop of hawks
of how my fascination
is stirred by the yelp
or bark
or bleat
of beasts
or how my soul stirs
at seeing a salmon’s trek
here in this stream
or gazing into the open sky
watching the roll of unobstructed clouds
thrilling at the fall of stars
or hearing the crack of thunder
resound for miles across our valley
then off the mountain’s face
or how I love the embrace of rain
the crisp and quiet drift of snow
the hues and sway of living fields
or love watching our orchard
blossom and bloom to fruit
gazing upon these forests
thick beyond horizons
or feeling the lift of cresting surf
now I amble alone
alone with my precious memories
of these natural wonders
that inspire
that lift my soul
that resonate my heart
that could have continued
should have continued
still
but…
damnit to hell…
this was an eden
but we proved a stubborn
stupid species
we would not listen
and now
now paradise is dying
at our careless hands
and now I am alone
too long alond
too long since I have shared
this beautiful mountain stream
with another’s eyes
or found my voice
to exclaim its wonders
yet still
I ramble this valley
wade this stream
given to jabbering quietly
to no one in particular
at the ragged edge of coherence
hoping for a response
a response assuring me
that this is just a nightmare
but only comes the murmur
of this constant stream
I have held my mind
in good humor
but not all have
reports of continuing suicides
murders
robberies
kidnap
rapes
humans unhinged
but I remain
tethered to the waning hope
that this can’t possibly
all be coming to an end
a hope
buoyed by the majesty of these forests
that climb their way skyward
with the patience
with the persistence
of the ages
but each day
the horrifying realization
muddles my mind
suffocates my soul
we {{{ have }}} destroyed it all
the world burns more and more
year after year
with more intensity each year
we need a miracle
but sadly
there is a scarcity of miracles
tonight
I will again
sit alone
in my room
in the soft light of the fire
I’ll cry
and wonder — why
we had all the warnings
more than enough
and we had the time
but we were
so
fucking
arrogant
perhaps
this beautiful
magical world
this amazing paradise
would have been much
much better off
without us
*
rob kistner © 2021
Poetry Inspired by Ecological Change: Earthweal
