my mind’s strung out by poetry’s cruelest deed
this cannot be the horror my muse intends
if blood it wants I willingly concede
my mind’s strung out by poetry’s cruelest deed
if a pantoum’s owed it’s me who’ll make amends
if blood it wants I willingly concede
this crazy form – my mind, it’s turned on end
if a pantoum’s owed it’s me who’ll make amends
frustration chokes me like some poison seeds
this crazy form – my mind, it’s turned on end
my head’s collapsed, my jumbled mind it bleeds
frustration chokes me like some poison seeds
muse tell me – did the poet God’s I offend
my head’s collapsed, my jumbled mind it bleeds
a hopelessness inside me does distend
oh tell me please – did the poet God’s I offend
this cannot be the horror my muse intends
a hopelessness inside me does distend
yes, writing pantoums drives me ‘round the bends
~ ~ ~
rob kistner © 2019
______________________________
Links to my other 3 Pantoums:
1.) Seabed Sway
2.) Flame Of Learning
3.) Lady Blue
Poetry Forms – The Pantoum
wonderful! entertaining! brilliant and humorous…think i have run out of words! you got the pantoum fever now Rob! i like how you took it to task and one small word in the last line seals the deal. excellent – i had one word left!
Thank you so very much Gina! This is the second P@ntoum I have ever knowingly written. The other is on the complete opposite end of the emotional spectrum, written in 1995. It was a exercise in a grief class. It was an outcrying of sorrow and horror over the tragic death of my 18-year-old son Aaron, on July 3rd, 1995. This, I am reasonably certain, is why I have little liking for this form. But this was fun, and the lightly humorous sarcasm helped me get through it. Thank you again Gina!
again i offer words of comfort, it may seem many years have passed but the pain is just as acute, not many will understand, but i do. i too have the same aversion for some things, some movies i cannot bear to even rad its title, songs i will turn off. i understand better now your feelings about the pantoum. yet you rise! and do it brilliantly and inspire me. humour helps to take the edge off a lot of things, grief included. i am so glad you opened your heart and let the words flow for this form.
I know you understand Gina and I embrace your words with gratitude. It was so unnaturlly perverse and devastating to me to bury my 18-yeear-old child. My health ultimately failed as a result. I will never “get over it” as has been suggested to me at times iver the years. I have learned how to cope, and certainly have found comfort in wonderful, warm memories of Aaron. But the most unexpected things can pry open that wound and the grief stabs at me again, so I clearly understand your adverse reaction to certain things, I share that with you. Thank you for your kindness Gina. 🙂
LOVE the illustration and the title! And the clever humor and satirical note that it drives you round the bend. Hah! For me, I’ve never heard of most of the forms we’re called upon to do. Even the sonnet with its iambic pentameter which has me counting syllables on my fingers and then trying to figure out how to fit in the right unaccented and accented syllables “drives me round the bend!” I saw this form and called it a poetic sudoku! 🙂
Well done, my friend. Well done.
Thank you so much Lillian! Such kind and gracious words… 🙂 I have a resistance to the “form” poetry we are so frequently challenged to write here at dVerse, because it doesn’t flow freely in my “thinking & expressing” process. I create proportion-based, 3D multi-media, high-craft art. It is driven mathematically by my 3D perspective computer designing. It is beautiful, I love doing it, and I sell quite a bit of it. That said, I ende@vor to use writing to free myself from such tight calculating and construction. The “form” poetry pushes me back into “calculating & constructing”, which I can certainly do. Unfortunately, it robs much of the pure freedom of expression which I seek in my writing. This is precisely why I love free verse poetry. Enough on that. Thank you again Lillian! 😉
That is so cool, Rob. My spatial sense is so bad–I mean in my mind picturing things in 3D and “mathematically driven”–Yikes! 🙂
Both sides of my brain seem to function in a reasonably balanced manner, so I enjoy creating math-based 3D designed art – and I love writing, especially free verse poetry and flash fiction. However, I believe that lacking a dominant side in my brain causes, or certainly exacerbates my ADD, as well as my penchant for painful, sometimes debilitating procrastination. Every rose has a thorn Merril…
This made me laugh out loud, Rob–and that illustration is perfect. I didn’t notice at first that the screen says “There Will Be Blood.” Hahaha.
Well done with the form, and I do hope you didn’t shed too much blood in getting it into shape. 🙂
Thank you Merril! And you caught the little “Easter Egg” phrase I discovered in the picture. I was deciding between several pics when I read, “There will be blood”… that was it, decision made, case closed… 🙂
Lol! You survived to tell the tale!!!
I just bowed my neck and tightened my pantoum’s – and went for it Vivian! 😉
All the repetition in a pantoum drives me batty as well. It all keeps circling back.
It’s good to know I’m not the only one Frank. I really don’t understand the fascination. But, I’m just playing the game…
I love the circles and the repetition. I am an unfocused person and forms help me focus. You seem to be naturally focused, so of course you would prefer a place to stretch out. Nevertheless, you have produced a wonderful pantoum that also made me smile! (K)
Not sure if I am focused Kerfe, but I am sure that I appreciate your kind words! 🙂
Lol, this made me smile. Love “did the poet’s God i offend?” I am a strange critter – the pantoum is one of my favourite forms.
Glad you enjoyed it Sherry! Thank you! As forms go, I think I like the Rubaiyat. But personally, I find writing to a preconceived poetic structure to be more like construction, not pure writing. It feels a bit confining and restrictive to me. This is by no means a value judgement, just an explantion of my experience. “Forms” are like puzzels to me, so I can enjoy the challenge, and derive a sense of satisfaction for “solving” it. It just does not allow me to reach the level of creative satisfaction I derive from letting my full unencumbered expression flow. In much the same vein, I prefer creating a 3D image of my unique conception on my computer, over completing a puzzle of an image created by someone else. It’s more a matter of preference than judgement.
Such a creative force you are, brother. You tackled the form like a pro football guard; simply plowed it over. You wrote twice as much as most of us, with perfect control of the form, and injected enough humor into things, the ride was a giddy one. As you know, free verse is my forte, and preference as well–but writing to classic forms gives me hints and ideas as to tweaking things, keeping the verse alive. Thanks for the rave comment at my site.
I just saddled up my resistance to poetic forms, and bucked it until it acquiesced. Venting opened a fountain of thoughts and words, so I let it flow. You are welcome dude, the comment was sincere.
Great fun, Rob, and expertly done….you describe the experience perfectly, couldn’t agree more!
Thank you Jim! 🙂 Partially tongue in cheek. I am not quite that adverse to them. They can be enjoyable like a puzzle – if you enjoy puzzles…?
I agree, Rob. The form drives me crazy, in circles, which is what I guess, it intends to do. Good one!
Thank you Sara! 🙂
Read your pantoum and wanted to leave a comment to tell you nice job, but comments didn’t appear to be open… but nice job! 🙂
“this cannot be the horror my muse intends” just cracked me up. your output is outstanding in wry humor. Can’t wait to see what your next one looks like.
😉 Glad you liked it Jade…
Loving that you turned this roundabout of a form on its head. Bravo!
Thank you. It’s a matter of preference Nora. I respect the skill required to construct a pantoum. I have come to find the challenge to do so interesting at times, and can enjoy reading one that is well crafted – it is just not where I prefer to put the primary focus of my creative energy. I’m best suited, and personally more drawn, to the unbridled expression of free verse.
Perfect!
I like your take. It is both fun and entertaining.
Oh yes, the Pantoum is tricky and cruel but worthwhile when one finally gets it right, Rob! You express it most eloquently in the lines:
‘if a pantoum’s owed it’s me who’ll make amends
frustration chokes me like some poison seeds
this crazy form – my mind, it’s turned on end
my head’s collapsed, my jumbled mind it bleeds’.
It can be fun Kim. I just am not as drawn to form poetry as I sm to the personal expression of free verse. I enjoyed writing the two pantoums that make up my piece, “Seabed Sway”.
Ha, me too!
I hear you Rosemary… 😉