•
and he saw them leaving
and he opened his mouth in farewell
but only dust escaped
and broken dreams
and a spoiled promise
from long ago
left too long on the shelf
so he raised his hand
to gesture a wave
but he was rigid
and could not
and they did not hear him
and they did not see him
for he had already vanished
• • •
rob kistner © 2011
• linked at Magpie Tales
dust… broken dreams… spoiled promise: a lot of sadness in that vanishing.
Only you could take us to the
precipice, a dark place, a place
of regret, and still weave in
threads of light, of spirituality,
as a man make his moment of
transition, exiting pain and
embracing what comes next.
Love the lines:
/he opened his mouth in farewell/
but only dust escaped/and broken
dreams/.
Maureen, I am trying to empty myself of this sadness, so I am placing it here, on the page – but it seems to return, like an ache in the chill night…
Glenn, I am apparently drawn to the edge of that precipice – I seem to find its mystery alluring…
Ooh I had to read it over … it stays with you this one!
Dust and broken dreams – great visuals contributes to the transmission of the feeling of helpless despair
Such sadness and regret so tersely woven in this masterpiece… it sticks, too!
too sad… of not being seen and being heard…
vanished!
nice take sir!
JJRod’z
Rob, your poem is one of the finest this week!
All that sadness from long ago (I hope it is long ago). Amazing how old feelings can swamp us again.
No one likes to be left behind. Wonderful write, Rob.
Rob
I always love your writing
I like the story because you leave me with a question – what would have changed???
have missed ya / gr8 to re-connect
Ohh!that was sad yet beautiful poem…
“and they did not see him” yikes!
So beautifully done!
“and he opened his mouth in farewell
but only dust escaped”
…such a haunting piece, I really liked it.
heavy rob…unable to say good bye is a feeling i have def felt before…and he will remember that scene well beyond the vanishing…
ps was nice to see your name at dverse…
The words are wonderful..but that image really captures a moment vanished..quite haunting..Jae
Yes Jae, I too caught the relevant duality of the title… 😉
Very haunting and mysterious — open to lots of great intepretation! Very well done!