Stowaway
Posted by Rob Kistner | Filed under Free Verse, Image, Poetry, courage, dark, mystery, photo, tragedy
•
with great caution
in halting measured step
I creep from sanctuary dark
to leave this place of safety
to sidle in uncertainty
into the chafing
cutting light
head bowed
spirit crushed
tensed for flight
emerging
visible again
though barely
poised to recoil
from any sudden emotion
long now in hiding
stowed away in sorrow
fragile as a newborn bird
unsteady as a fawn
just as frightened
as unsure
my wounded soul
took refuge in aloneness
dug in
resolved to disappear
become invisible
perhaps to die
the weight of life too great
simple breaths
a considered labor
but still I drew them
hesitantly
long I lay
shallow breathing
unwashed
unfed
resigned to simply vanish
from this hopeless realm
despaired I would never find
a reason to go on
yet slowly I emerge
but please
no impulsive expectations
permit me slow and careful evolution
from my chrysalis of anguish
let me find my way
back into the light
from my place of hiding
offer only patience
and safe distance
• • •
rob kistner © 2010
May 8th, 2010 at 12:41 am
Very atmospheric, and a really good read. The first stanza resembles a head, and I was expecting a concrete poem!
Am I allowed to put on my proof-reading hat?:-
“simple breathing
a considered labor
but still I drew them
hesitantly”
breathing is singular: how about “simple breaths”?
Slap me down I’ve broken the rules!
ViV
May 8th, 2010 at 2:20 am
Intense inner drama of “To be or not to be…”
May 8th, 2010 at 5:34 am
What a tortured soul … “chrysalis of anguish” is wonderful! Thanks for another good prompt!
May 8th, 2010 at 7:52 am
Emerging from a chrysalis of anguish is beautiful.
Love this piece!
May 8th, 2010 at 8:20 am
Beautiful and haunting,
“my wounded soul
took refuge in aloneness”
Pamela
May 8th, 2010 at 10:36 am
Viv — I love center justifying my work, I find the abstract concrete nature they take on to be fascinating. You will never be slapped down young lady. I am honored you take the time to look below the surface of my work. I am writing constantly, and ever-editing my pieces — yet still things slip through… so thank you! As I said, if I could afford it, I would hire you as my proofreader — but times are hard for an old beachcomber like me…
First song I ever wrote was at age 13 in 1960 for my rock band, the TripTides. It was entitled “Lonely Beachcomber”. A local DJ actually paid to have us cut 1,000 forty-five’s (45 rpm vinyl records) of the song — so he could distribute them at his record hops at which we performed… full circle, but that is a whole other story…
May 8th, 2010 at 10:53 am
Gemma - yes, that’s what I was going for. To be or not to be in the very core essence of “being” as living…
May 8th, 2010 at 10:54 am
Marianne — you are most welcome, and thank you for the kind words…
May 8th, 2010 at 10:54 am
Brenda - you are so very gracious, thank you…
May 8th, 2010 at 10:56 am
Pamela -
Thank you for the kind sentiment…
May 8th, 2010 at 11:08 am
Ooh Rob, I love the young lady! A decrepit 72 going on elderly likes being thought young! Thankyou old beachcomber.
As a result of reading so many of your centred poems, I’ve started doing it: not only is there the serendipity of good shapes, but it makes you see where line breaks are wrong and need tweaking.
May 8th, 2010 at 12:27 pm
…It is the mind, heart, and spirit that reflects a person’s age — you are young as spring Viv…
May 8th, 2010 at 2:37 pm
Chrysalis of anguish - gorgeous line!
May 8th, 2010 at 7:22 pm
Many an agoraphobic must relate to this form of being a stowaway. And as your piece suggests, the feeling doesn’t necessarily go away.
May 8th, 2010 at 11:29 pm
careful evolution from my chrysalis of anguish
A beautiful raising from despair, a wonderful poem
May 8th, 2010 at 11:31 pm
Enjoyed this poem, Rob! I particularly like the image of vulnerability when first emerging from the hiding place being portrayed as a newborn bird or young fawn, still wobbling and unsure. Nicely done!
May 9th, 2010 at 12:37 am
“Chrysalis of anguish” is stunning imagery. I also really enjoyed the lines:
“my wounded soul
took refuge in aloneness.”
Great stuff, Rob!
~Mark
May 9th, 2010 at 1:13 am
Thank you Dee for the kind words…
May 9th, 2010 at 1:16 am
Yo Stan -
I like your bringing this into the perspective of an agoraphobic — I’d not seen that vantage, but how astute you are in that my man…
…rob
May 9th, 2010 at 1:17 am
Marja - It is a very long road back from the deep deep darkness. Thank you for your gracious remarks…
…rob
May 9th, 2010 at 1:19 am
Paul - As I responded to Marja. it is a long road back, and a very shaky and uncertain journey. Thank you for your kind words…
…rob
May 9th, 2010 at 1:21 am
Mark - you are always gracious, your words are appreciated…
…rob
May 9th, 2010 at 5:37 am
Oh, I totally understand this! You do such a good job of showing the difficulty of emerging!
May 9th, 2010 at 6:12 am
I see this as a very spiritual piece, Rob. A tortuous soul seeking like and strength.
May 9th, 2010 at 6:22 am
…resolved to disappear
become invisible…
I sometimes feel like that, only not to the extent of the next line. Tortured soul finding its way to the light. Very well written.
May 9th, 2010 at 9:31 am
great poem Rob….takes me back in time when I had a dark time….but looking back out of that darkness came light…and more….so I kind of cherish that dark time…thanks for the words and the reminder…cheers from some guy who is looking forward to becoming elderly
May 9th, 2010 at 11:09 pm
Brave to emerge and seek the light and recognize the safe place even if it is kept at a distance.
May 12th, 2010 at 10:19 am
Something one cannot rush Annie… Thank you for spending time with this work…
May 12th, 2010 at 10:21 am
Dark times are bittersweet Wayne, they can only be dark if something of value was involved — so that makes them precious. You are welcome from another guy who is embracing the wisdom life brings, though not always the aches and pains…